Alone in Hysteria
by Alison Burns
Summary: *written with gothina234* Our favorite team is called into a tiny blip of a town in the middle of no where. The case seems odd from the start but soon there'll be a lot more to worry about than a few dead bodies as it quickly turns personal.
1. salvation

_**Alison: Hi guys! So Gothina234 and I have decided to write a story together for you lovelies and this is the result. Personally I'm super excited and can't wait to see what you guys think! Both of us will be working on every chapter so this is as much her baby as it is mine and I hope you like it all the more for the different styles of writing the two of us bring to the table. We're in this together =) (despite our 8 hour time difference) and I am honoured to be her partner.**_

_**Mistakes will hopefully be minimal as there is two of us checking this over and updates should be pretty regular. Other than that, bon chance and I hope you have as much fun reading this as we do writing it!**_

_**Gothina234: Hi everyone! I am very happy to be writing this with the ever awesome and talented Alison. I hope that you enjoy this and can't wait to write more. Enjoy.**_

**_Ps. we don't own Criminal minds but we REALLY REALLY wish we did! It would probably be pretty Reid centric, poor Matthew Gray Gubler wouldn't be able to handle everything we threw at him =P_**

Chapter 1

…_and because we all know how much we love our danger magnet…_

"_I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me__."__―__J.K. Rowling__ (I think this should be Reid's mantra, he and Harry Potter need to get together and discuss their impressive ability to get themselves into dangerous or otherwise life threatening situations…)_

"_You have to master not only the art of listening to your head, you must also master listening to your heart and listening to your gut__"__ ―__ Carly Fiorina_

The soft darkness was peaceful to Reid, it blocked out the troubles of reality. Reid felt the

darkness shake before realising that reality was now leaking into his peaceful abyss.

"Reid wake up" a deep voice whispered in the distance. Reid groaned before the voice started to raise its voice.

"Pretty boy, wake up!" the voice ordered.

Reid instantly opened his eyes, his body shot up and he remembered what was going on.

He looked over at a disgruntled Morgan and smiled slightly. He wanted to laugh at Morgan's mood, but thought that would only end with him in trouble.

"You were sound asleep Reid. Can I ask what you were dreaming about?"

"I wasn't dreaming of anything." Reid lied.

"Reid you know that you can speak to me about anything. You were pleading in your sleep again," Morgan said with true compassion in his voice. He hated seeing Reid struggling or being hurt by anything. He'd thought of everything the young man had been through, and there were some things on that list that no man should ever have to endure.

"It's something that I have to deal with myself, it's just I'm struggling lately. But I need to concentrate on this case. I'll do you a deal. If you let me focus on this case and ask me no more questions till we finish it, I'll tell you what's bothering me. Just wait," Reid said trying to get Morgan away from the topic of his nightmares.

"Deal, but you know that's not healthy. Holding it all up inside will hurt." Morgan agreed before departing some advice that was personal. He knew what it was like to hold a secret so dark that it scratched and clawed your insides trying to get out.

"I know but after the case. I promise." Reid smiled at him.

Morgan simply nodded. Reid grabbed for his messenger bag and pulled out the small file they had on the case. This one was highly unusual to Reid and the team. The town they had been called to was a tiny blip compared to where they usually worked. The only reason they had been invited was due to some pleading by the sheriff.

"This case seems strange" Reid observed as he stared at the pictures of a dead woman and two men.

The way they had been killed was strange. They had been poisoned with an unknown substance that had killed them after repeated exposure. Reid could tell by the needle marks in their arms that they had been dosed with it multiple times. No signs of struggle were present though, none at all.

_**Why would they not fight back? Why would they inject themselves with poison over and over?**_ Reid thought.

"What's strange?" Morgan asked as his fellow agent's mind buzzed with theories and ideas.

"It's like these people killed themselves, there are no signs of struggle present. No defensive wounds. It looks more like suicide," Reid said confused.

"Well the sheriff practically begged the bureau to accept the case. Do you know what poison killed them?"

"No but I have the wonderful job of identifying it hence all the equipment I had to drag along. I don't like small towns. They feel too confined," Reid said before he felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Don't worry kid. We'll be out of here in no time." Morgan and Reid stared at the sign that read 'Salvation'. Reid felt the shiver rear its way up his spine again.

_**This town gives me the creeps.**_ Reid thought.

Morgan spotted his nervousness and patted him on the shoulder.

"Reid just stay out of trouble and you'll be fine," Morgan said confidently.

_**I'll try.**_

XXXXXXXXXXX.

The sheriff watched the black SUV park itself on the street next to the morgue he was standing beside and started forward. Two men, one muscular with dark skin the other tall and skinny, exited the SUV and started toward him the first locking it with the press of a button as he did so.

"Sheriff Anderson?" The muscular one held his hand out. "I'm Derek Morgan we're with the FBI's behavioural analysis unit."

The sheriff took his hand and shook it, trying not to laugh. It was all too easy. He turned to the man's partner who was looking nervous.

He'd have to watch out for that one, he might cause problems. "And you are..."

"Reid." The man held his hand out and they shook too. "Spencer Reid."

"Dr. Spencer Reid." The one who'd called himself Derek Morgan corrected. The sheriff felt his smile slide from his face and suddenly he didn't feel like laughing any longer.

_**A doctor, how dare they bring a doctor–**_he was very close to losing it until he realised that, in truth, this was a stroke of luck. It was a sign from God that he was pleased with the town's work. After all, wasn't a doctor exactly what they needed...

"Come inside gentleman," he gestured to the front of the morgue. "We have the victims here for you to examine."

"Great, do you have anywhere I can set up my equipment? I want to draw samples of their blood to see if I can figure out what poison killed them." The sheriff turned towards the morgue, walking in front so the two FBI agents couldn't see his clenched fists.

"Of course, doctor, I'll have someone help you carry everything inside." As the two FBI agents caught up with him the sheriff turned to look the demon who went by the name of Spencer Reid in the eyes. He could already see all the pain he was going to put him through, all the things he would make him do. Maybe, just for fun, he'd switch it up a little this time. Oh yes, he felt his good mood return as they entered the morgue and had to hide his smile, this was going to be fun.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sheriff Anderson watched carefully as the two FBI agents started to examine the bodies. SSA Morgan was looking almost sick, but his partner seemed more quizzical than anything.

Of course, it made perfect sense. Why would evil, a demon, worry about death? They wouldn't, they would embrace it.

Just like Doctor Reid was doing.

The more he watched him, the more sense it made.

"Find anything, doctor?" He had to put effort into his voice to keep the hate from seeping through, honest to God effort. Out of all the sinners he'd dealt with, this one was the worst. It seeped out of him, tainting the air, making it difficult to breathe. Before the ceremony he would have to confess his sins…

He would have to be cleansed.

"Nothing yet, I'm going to take some blood samples now." He rummaged through the kit he'd brought with him and so he missed as sheriff Anderson glanced down at his watch in impatience.

Why hadn't they called him yet? They were supposed to call by now. Maybe something had gone wrong. If it had, there was going to be hell to pay.

Dr. Reid stuck a syringe into the arm of the victim closest to him, the girl. He filled a tube three quarters of the way with blood then quickly added two drops of a blue liquid to the blood which changed the colour of the mixture to a bright yellow. The sheriff tensed.

_** He dares to bring that black magic in here.**_

"Morgan, I've got something kind of funny."

"What's up kid?"

"Her blood, I did a PH test with some bromothymol blue and it's much more acidic than it should be." Morgan's forehead creased.

"How acidic are we talking? Could it have been a factor?"

"Oh this wasn't a factor," Reid stated briskly, "This was what killed her. Now I just have to figure out what they were injected with to–" he stopped mid sentence as his phone began to ring. The sheriff sucked in a breath as he watched the FBI agent answer the call and saw his face grow pale.

_**This is it, show time.**_

"We'll be right there."A pause. "Hotch, Hotch!" He pressed end and shoved his phone into his pocket.

"Reid?"

"There's been an emergency, Hotch needs us at the police station now." Reid grabbed his satchel and half ran out the morgue door, leaving all his equipment sitting on the fold out table they'd so carefully set up for him.

The other agent gathered up his friend's stuff and turned to sheriff Anderson. "I'm sorry sir but that was our unit chief, we'll phone you when this is sorted out about coming back here tomorrow."

"Of course, I hope everything's alright."

_**How rude, **_the Sheriff thought as he followed Agent Morgan out of the morgue and locked the door behind them barely able to control the glee that bubbled up inside him. Soon, very soon, they would get what they deserved.

Especially Doctor Reid.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Reid was glad Morgan had forced him into the passenger seat, because he probably would have crashed the FBI issued hunk of metal by now. Hotch had sounded panicked, so something had to be wrong because Hotch didn't do panicked. Then there'd been a crash in the background and he'd cut out. Reid had tried calling him back and when Hotch hadn't picked up he'd tried the others.

No go.

What were the odds that they were all just not picking up their cell phones because each and every one of them had forgotten to charge their PDA that morning and so each and every one of them now had a dead phone and couldn't be contacted?

He'd calculated it was probably about as likely as Garcia wearing black...

Morgan parked the car in the small lot outside the main doors of police headquarters and Reid couldn't get his seat belt off fast enough. They rushed inside nearly barrelling into their unit chief who was standing by the door.

"Hotch?" Reid did a quick scan of the room and realised that everyone seemed to be there. They were all there, and they all seemed okay. "When you called I thought something was–" He trailed off has Hotch's face remained expressionless. "Is everything alright?" Hotch nodded and Reid suddenly found he could breathe again.

"Of course, there's just something I need to discuss with you." Hotch trained his deadpan stare on Reid and gestured to a smallish, empty office with its door ajar.

"Did I do something wrong?" Reid felt the panic start to come back. He'd been a little off lately because of the nightmares, what if Hotch had decided he'd had enough? What if he was firing him?"

"Of course not." Hotch laid a hand on Reid's shoulder guiding him away from the rest of the team whom he noticed were strangely quiet, not even talking amongst themselves. Half of them were staring at him, the other half at Morgan.

That bad huh?

_"Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."__―__J.K. Rowling_

_**Alison: wha**__t __**did you think? We'd love to know! I would also like to say what I forgot to say at the top, that although we are writing this together the original idea is Becky's (gothina234's) and that this story would not be possible without her. Please check out more of her amazing, crazy talented, unbelievable prose by checking out her profile and stories: **_.net/u/1725993/

_**Send her a message to let her know how absolutely maginifque she is =)**_


	2. betrayal

**Chapter two**

_**Gothina234: Hello to all the wonderful readers and reviewers. I just wanted to say thank you for the great response to our first chapter. We hope that you continue to enjoy this as much as we love, love, love writing it.**_

_**Alison: Hey guys! Wanted to say what awesome people you are for the responses received to this story and also wanted to say what an amazing partner in crime Gothina234 is to write with you are amazing! Hope you like this chapter, more to come soon!**_

_**Disclaimer: we still don't own criminal minds, but we're seriously considering using our right to protest to change this. **_

_Every betrayal contains a perfect moment, a coin stamped heads or tails with salvation on the other side. - Barbara Kingsolver_

Hotch closed the door to the office, he pulled down the blinds and looked at Reid. A small part of himself was screaming for him not to do what he had been told to do but he couldn't obey it. He had to follow orders, it was everything to him at that moment to be good and reached behind his back and pulled out some handcuffs.

"Hotch? What are you doing?" Reid asked as he noticed Hotch take small motions towards him.

"Just following orders" Hotch replied coldly. Reid was unprepared for what was about to happen next.

Reid was about to reply but felt a sharp pain strike him across the face as Hotch punched him.

Reid landed to the floor and groaned, he pushed himself up only to pushed back down by two rough hands. Reid ripped himself away from the memories of Georgia and focused his mind on the here and now. He felt a shudder as he felt the cold metal of the handcuffs touch his skin.

"Hotch! Please stop. You're hurting me! Morgan!" Reid screamed. Reid started to hear a commotion outside, he struggled to hear it over his pounding heart.

"I'm just following orders" Hotch said. Reid didn't want to hurt Hotch but he knew he had to try and knock some sense into him, in one swift motion he thrust his head up. Hotch yelped in pain as Reid head butted him, he stumbled to his feet and put his hand to his nose. He pulled it away to find dark crimson blood. Reid hissed slightly as he felt the brunt of his attack on Hotch.

Reid twisted his body off of his stomach and pulled himself up to his feet. He pushed and struggled against the handcuffs but knew he was causing more damage to himself, the handcuffs were like razors to his skin. Hotch looked at him with anger roaring in his eyes.

"Hotch please listen to me! I don't know what's happened to you but I'm not your enemy. Just calm down please" Reid pleaded. Hotch wiped his bloody nose and charged at Reid.

Reid kicked his leg up to try and disable Hotch but failed in his attempt. Hotch grabbed the leg before it could hit him, he pushed it away roughly before delivering a severe blow to Reid's stomach. Reid doubled over in pain and wheezed as he tried to capture his breath. Reid

was roughly pulled up as Hotch grabbed his shirt. Hotch threw him against the window, the loud echo of glass cracking filled the room at that moment.

Reid smashed into the glass and instantly knew that he was the cause of the glass cracking. His body slumped to the ground, his eyes not focusing on anything as he felt the warm blood trickle down the side of his face. His looked up to his boss over him.

"Please Hotch! Don't hurt me! Please" Reid begged as he started cry. He had been through much worse pain but it was the fact that the man hurting him was his friend, the man hurting him was part of his family.

"Just following orders." Reid instantly found peace in the darkness when Hotch kicked him in the face and his head whipped to

the side at the force of the blow.

_**Why?**_ Reid thought as he lost consciousness.

Hotch looked at the bloodied and beaten Reid, his heart ached but his mind felt empty. It was ike he was awaiting some approval for beating the young man. Reid had blood running from his nose and the open gash on his head, Hotch looked at him before a voice interrupted his focus.

"Well done Agent. You have given this town it's sacrifice. Bind him completely and then take him out to my car and place him in the trunk" the voice commanded. Hotch looked at Reid and then to the sheriff, his leader. Hotch felt compelled to listen to the man. Hotch took a few pieces on black fabric from the bag the sheriff handed to him. He watched the man leave and wondered why he had left.

_**Just follow the orders**_ his mind told him.

He walked over to Reid and bent down. He tied Reid's legs together at both the ankles and the knees, he pulled the ropes together tightly and checked them three times. He moved to Reid's head. He blindfolded him before gagging him. He had to bind him completely. He had to follow orders. He hoisted Reid over his shoulder into a fireman's carry and made his way outside to the car. He stopped and faced the other members of his team, the ones who also had to follow orders. He noticed the absence of Morgan and wondered if the team had detained him.

"Where is the other one?" Hotch asked before shifting the weight on his shoulders.

"We were told to put him in the trunk" Garcia replied. Hotch simply nodded before he made his way to the trunk of the car. As he neared the trunk he heard the angry shouts of Morgan. He opened the trunk and put Reid next to a shocked and motionless Morgan. Morgan was bound by his hands and knees, Hotch could only assume that was what the others had been told to do.

"Hotch, What did you do?" Morgan yelled as he turned to face the bloody and bruised Reid. He felt anger at seeing Reid this way. Reid was beginning to stir, Hotch decided it was time to leave.

"Just following orders" Hotch told Morgan before shutting the lid of the trunk.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Reid began to return to the world, he opened his eyes and realised that he couldn't see. His mind flashed to the events that had happened with Hotch. He struggled and realized he was bound completely. He started to scream and cry behind the gag before a soothing voice was telling him to calm down. Reid breathed deeply but he couldn't stop the pain running through his body.

Why had Hotch hurt him? Had he done something wrong?

XXXXXXXXXXX

Morgan lost sight of the young man as the lid was closed and the trunk thrust into darkness. He heard a few movements before panic sounds echoed in the air. Morgan's heart broke at hearing the sounds of some he considered to be his little brother. He felt the car begin to move and wondered what the hell was going on. He knew that something was wrong with his team, there was something wrong with his baby girl.

Morgan was pulled from his thoughts by Reid's muffled screams and struggles. He knew that the kid was fragile, he wondered if being beaten by Hotch was going to push him over the edge. The screams began to turn into sobs making Morgan leap into action.

"Reid! I need you to calm down. I don't know what is going on but I need you to breath. I won't let anything happen to you" Morgan whispered gently to him.

The sobs became quieter and Morgan could hear Reid's breathing even out. He let out a little breath and continued to talk to Reid. He just had to keep the kid calm.

"I think something or someone had affect the rest of the team. I heard you scream my name but everything just went to hell. They attacked me" Morgan informed Reid.

_"Hey baby girl. Morgan watched as the door to the sheriff's office closed blocking his view of Reid and Hotch then turned to his favourite goddess of all things technical. "Any idea what has Hotch acting so weird? Is everything alright?" Garcia started as if wherever her head had been it was far, far away. _

_ "Everything's fine, better than fine actually." Garcia stepped forward closing the space between them and Morgan took an involuntary step back unnerved by the blank expression on her usually vibrant face._

_ A crash echoed from inside the sheriff's office and Morgan's head whipped around._

_ "Morgan!" Reid sounded confused and in pain but at was the obvious fear in his voice that got Morgan's heart racing. He was about to call back to his friend, about to come to his rescue, when Garcia's right fist slammed into the side of his face. _

_ "What the, Garcia-ach!" He retreated as Garcia aimed a kick at his head which turned out to be one of his dumber plans as in doing so he backed straight into the infinitely more dangerous Prentiss who proceeded to quickly put him in a rather effective choke hold. _

_ Jesus Christ! When had the world gone screwy? He fought for breath, struggling against Prentiss's hold, but damn that woman was strong! He slammed an elbow back into her gut and heard her grunt in pain making him feel immensely guilty but it did break her hold long enough to slip away._

_ "Guys!" He started to back away from the semicircle of his colleagues converging on him his hands up. "Listen, I don't know what the hell is going on but it's me, Morgan!" The others held back while Garcia stepped forward again and Morgan felt his stomach ball up in knots. "Come on Garcia, I really don't want to hurt you." _

_ Instead of replying she got ready to kick him again, roundhouse style. He knew he could grab her leg and set her flat on her butt, he knew he could take her out, but he really couldn't bear the thought of hurting his god given solace so instead he took the blow to the side. _

_ He should have seen it coming but the kick had hurt more than he'd anticipated so he never saw the karate style chop to the neck she delivered until it sent waves of pain shooting through him rendering him useless. _

_ Rossi held his arms behind him while JJ wrapped his ankles and wrists. The shock of having those he'd considered his friends attack him was so great that for a moment he just hung there limply in Rossi's arms. It was only as Garcia came into view from behind him that he finally found words._

_ "Why?" He whispered the word as all four of them started to drag him to the front of the police station. This time, Garcia did have an answer for him._

"_Just following orders." She said as if repeating a kind of mantra. Then, she backhanded him hard across the face. _

"Everything is going to be fine. I promise Reid that I will get you and everyone out of this." His just wished someone, anyone, would tell him what the hell _this_ was.

_Frodo:__I can't do this, Sam.__  
><em>_Sam:__I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.__  
><em>_Frodo:__What are we holding onto, Sam?__  
><em>_Sam:__That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it's worth fighting for. – JRR Tolkien_

_**Alison: Good? Bad? You know the review button loves to be pressed anyone want to make it happy =P (a reminder again to**_** go check **_**o**_**ut Gothina's writing she **_**is incredible a link to her profile can be found at the bottom of the first chapter of this story. Cheers everyone and to th**__**ose of you living in North America happy best day of our lives the 7**__**th**__** season starts today! (majorly over excited apologies lol)**_


	3. demon

Chapter 3

**Gothina234:- Hey everyone. Thank you all for reviewing and adding this to your alerts. I love working on this and I love writing with Alison Burns. I think we make a rather good duo. I hope that you enjoy this chapter.**

**Alison: Hey everyone! *guilty face* so the reason this part took so long is 110% my fault I've actually had the completed chapter in my inbox for 4 days but midterms came up…thank you for your patience and I want to say again that Gothina234 is the most incredible writer EVER so pretty much yeah that's it =). **

**Disclaimer – We may fight crime at night and have a key to the city but obviously we haven't done enough to own criminal minds. Maybe the next villain will clinch the deal or us. **

_Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. -__Arthur Miller_

Reid kept listening to Morgan's shaky but calm voice. His heart was racing a mile a minute, every time he felt the bonds restrict his movement he felt like screaming out in fear. The car they had been in for the last ten minutes stopped suddenly causing Morgan to slide into Reid. Reid grunted as he felt Morgan's weight hit him. Morgan immediately rolled away from Reid.

"I'm sorry Reid" Morgan apologized even though he knew there was no way he could have prevented it. Reid gave a small whimper causing Morgan's heart to ache.

Reid heard faint noises from outside the car, he knew someone had left the car after he heard the car door slam. A swift breeze of air hit his body and the noises got louder, Reid could only theorize that the trunk of the car had been lifted open. Morgan began shouting causing Reid to snap out of mind.

"Get your hands off me you bastard!" Morgan yelled before he was roughly pulled from the car, Reid began to call his name but all that was heard was muffled noises. Hands began to grasp him causing him to thrash to try and get away from them, he felt someone behind him untying his gag and blindfold. He scrunched his eyes when the sun hit his eyes. He took slow and deep breaths before looking up to see Hotch and two other men. He cowered away from Hotch, the man he had once trusted with his life was now a man that caused him fear.

"So this is the one. He's the one that is going to bring us salvation and peace" the tall burly man said behind Morgan.

"Please let me go!" Reid pleaded as he felt Hotch hover above him. He moved his body away.

"Agent Hotchner, punish him" the man smiled.

Reid flinched when Hotch came round and stood in front of him. Hotch raised his hand and backhanded him across the face causing Reid to yelp in pain.

"Hotch! Stop it" Morgan screamed as he struggled against the two men who were keeping him restrained.

"What next Eric?" Hotch said in the same dead tone he had spoken to Reid before attacking him back at the station. Reid looked at the tall man and now knew his name. Reid felt his cheek burn and sting. He hated to admit it but his tears provided some pain relief as they ran down his face.

"Take him to the church, the town will want to see him" Eric ordered.

Hotch grabbed Reid's hair and waist and hoisted him to his feet. Reid struggled against Hotch as he was being dragged away.

"Morgan help me please" Reid sobbed.

"Reid just stay strong. I'll get you out of this" Morgan shouted to Reid, every atom of his body wanted to save Reid. He wanted to save his little brother.

"Morgan!" Reid yelled again.

"Shut him up" Eric ordered Hotch.

Hotch moved his hand from Reid's hair and clamped his hand over Reid's mouth causing Reid to scream. Reid once last look at Morgan before being dragged into the church. There were two armed guards outside two large doors, they gave Reid a quick look before opening the door. Reid breathed heavily through his nose, he hated not having the ability to speak. Reid's mind flashed back to the graveyard in Georgia after the team had found him. He remembered how safe he felt when he hugged Hotch, he had felt safe and secure but now he hated Hotch touching him.

And he hated that he hated Hotch touching him.

Hotch moved his hand back to Reid's hair so he could control him better and continued to steer him towards the stage which was coming closer.

"Hotch." Reid gasped in pain as Hotch yanked at his hair as hard as he could. "Listen, if you'll just let me go maybe we can talk about this and – Jesus Hotch!" Reid felt himself let go of and shoved roughly up the first of a series of steps to the stage which his head promptly collided with.

"Get up." Hotch's voice was so hard, so cold. Even working with the worst of their Unsubs Reid had never heard it sound like that. He whirled around so he was facing Hotch, his back against the step.

"Hotch please just tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it I swear–" Reid was cut off by Hotch's knee colliding with his stomach which knocked the wind out of him eliciting a cheer from the crowd of people watching.

"I said get up." Reid half ran half crawled up the remaining steps to the stage. He shuttered as Hotch grabbed hold of him again at the top twisting his arms behind his back and leading him towards the sheriff who was standing near the front of the stage addressing the town which had fallen silent.

"Citizens of Salvation, have I not always said that if we worked to please god that in our moment of greatest need he would be there for us? The ceremony is in 5 days, and today, today god has proven he will not desert us!" The crowd erupted into cheers and the Sheriff fell silent for a moment waiting patiently. "Gaze upon the sinner before you, the one who calls himself Spencer Reid. Search him with your souls and tell me he is not the one that will be our salvation." If the cheers before were loud, now they were deafening. Reid watched the sheriff turn to face him and saw the ends of the man's mouth flip up in a small smile as he stood before him. "Spencer Reid, you are a demon."

"I'm not a demon." Reid whimpered but the sheriff ignored him like he hadn't even spoken.

"A demon who must be cleansed of his sins and then given to god to do with what he sees fit!"

"Please I'm not a demon!" He said it louder and this time he was sure some of the townspeople closer to the stage heard him. The sheriff's eyes darkened, and the sickening feeling in Reid's stomach told him he wasn't going to let it go this time.

"Lying's a sin, Spencer." His eyes flicked to Hotch and Reid's body tensed involuntarily. _**Please no, not again. **_"Agent Hotchner, make him pay for his disrespect to God."

For the second time in the span of just a few minutes Reid felt Hotch shove him roughly to the ground. Hotch's foot connected with his side sending a spasm of pain spiralling through him and despite it Reid almost laughed.

_ Hotch I was a 12 year old child prodigy at a public high school in Las Vegas. You kick like a 9 year old girl…_

He certainly wasn't kicking like a nine year old girl, not any more.

Hotch's foot connected with his stomach for a third time and Reid groaned pulling himself into the tightest ball he could manage. It didn't do much good though, because Hotch's next kick slammed into his unprotected protected head and suddenly there was two of everything. It wasn't until Hotch's foot and his face met a second time, though, that darkness blissfully took him as all around laughter and jeers permeated his ears.

The sheriff looked at the boy, the bloodied demon and smiled. He looked over to his new obedient soldier and smiled. His soldier had brought him the demon that would help his town find peace.

"You've done excellent work and soon you'll have help" the sheriff said softly to Hotch who simply nodded and returned his gaze to the crowd.

The sheriff crouched over Reid and stroked his thumb over Reid's swollen cheek.

"It's time to start God's work."

_Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" _

_Priest: "No, not if you did not know." _

_Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"__ - __Annie Dillard_


	4. pain

Chapter 4

_**Alison: hey everyone! so here's another part, hope you like it because we sure loved writing it! thanks to everyone who reviewed and read and/or subscribed. I'm posting this from my newly pulverized couch ([lease don't ask how it got that way). And with that picture in your mind, good day to you all =P**_

__**_disclaimer: we may be supermegafoxyawesomehot (major points to anyone who gets that reference) but we'll never be great enough to own criminal minds, only our own boundless imaginations! (okay ya a little corny)_**

_**Life **__**is **__**a **__**gamble. **__**You **__**can **__**get **__**hurt, **__**but **__**people **__**die **__**in **__**plane **__**crashes, **__**lose **__**their **__**arms **__**and **__**legs **__**in **__**car **__**accidents; **__**people **__**die **__**every **__**day. **__**Same **__**with **__**fighters:**__**some **__**die, **__**some **__**get **__**hurt, **__**some **__**go**__**on. **__**You **__**just **__**don't **__**let **__**yourself **__**believe **__**it **__**will **__**happen **__**to **__**you.**__**-**__**Muhammad**__**Ali**_

_**Hotch's fist hitting him repeatedly...Hotch's hand clamped over his mouth muffling his screams... watching Morgan being restrained...Hotch's foot connecting with his face and the soothing darkness engulfing him.**_

Flashes of previous events rushed across his mind before his mind began to drag itself back to the realm of consciousness. He knew he had been tied onto a bed as he felt his movements being restricted.

Reid groaned as he slowly opened eyes, he breathing hitched when he saw someone he had come to fear in his recent nightmare. Sheriff Anderson was sat on the bed leaning over him with a euphoric look on his face. Reid looked slowly to his left and then to his right to see that he each of his wrists were tied to a bedpost. He looked back to the Sheriff and found his heart racing with fear. He briefly glanced at the room and noticed that he was in a fairly normal bedroom.

"Hello" the Sheriff whispered to him.

"Please, let me go" Reid pleaded. His entire body felt bruise and battered, he knew that he had at least one cracked rib or worse. His entire body felt bruised to hell.

Reid flinched as the sheriff raised his hand to his face before realising he was only pushing a stray piece of hair of his face. The Sheriff's face suddenly turned angry causing him to clamp his bulky hand over Reid's mouth.

_**Teach **__**this **__**demon **__**to **__**be **__**obedient...**_ Sheriff Anderson thought.

He pinched Reid's nose close causing Reid to open his eyes wide in panic as he felt himself unable to breath.

Reid bucked in the bed as he found he was unable to breath, the dark spots surrounding his vision started to engulf him. The sheriff released his hand causing Reid to gasp and almost the drink the air around him as his lungs filled again with precious oxygen.

"You don't control us here demon. We control you! You will speak when you are told to or you will suffer further for your evil acts" the sheriff yelled causing Reid to sink away from the sheriff. Reid simply nodded before closing his eyes hoping that everything would suddenly be back to normal. He wanted to laugh at how irrational the thought was.

"God told showed me the sign for our salvation, the moment I saw you with your black magic I knew that it was God's will for me to cleanse you. Don't worry we will make sure you are purged of your sins and magic before the ceremony. Today I'm going to open up your soul to the light Spencer Reid" the sheriff said in a eerily calm voice.

Reid opened his mouth to speak but stopped when his brain reminded him off the consequence.

_**'He **__**is **__**going **__**to **__**hurt **__**you, **__**don't **__**speak **__**unless **__**you **__**have **__**to'**_ he thought.

"Aaron, Morgan, please come here" the sheriff called to the door.

Reid saw Hotch and Morgan enter the room, he trembled slightly. He tried to shake off the feeling of fear but he couldn't help it. He had always thought of Hotch as a strong leader and someone he look up to. All he could think now was when and if Hotch was going to hit him again. He looked at Morgan and realised any chance of being saved by him was now impossible. Morgan had the same dead and obedient look that Hotch had. Reid wanted to scream at Morgan to snap out of it and save him but he realised he was now alone. The two people he had always looked to for protection were now the ones about to hurt him.

_**'What **__**did **__**that **__**bastard **__**do **__**to **__**them?'**_Reid thought.

"Now Spencer. In order to the let the evil in you be cleansed we must first open up your soul. It cannot escape from you sinner's tongue so I'm going to create other ways for it to be released" the sheriff smiled before lifting himself off the bed and walking over to a tray on the dressing table covered with a blue cloth.

He walked back over and placed the tray on the bedside table next to Reid, he pulled of the sheet to reveal numerous glints of silver.

Reid began to struggle and thrash against his bonds, he didn't care about the rope ripping into his skin, he didn't want the sheriff to use what was on the tray. He glared at the thin metal rods and notice how sharp the bottom was. They were no bigger than pencils yet Reid knew if the sheriff used them in the right positions on his body, he was as good as gone.

"Hold down his legs" the sheriff ordered Morgan. Morgan walked to Reid's knees and pushed them down. Reid tried to move his legs but Morgan had pinned them with ease.

The sheriff grabbed one of the small rods and positioned it over Reid's thigh. He grabbed a small hammer and brought it over the rod.

"Don't!" Reid pleaded. Hotch clamped his hand over Reid's mouth again causing Reid to whimper, he felt warm tears spill from his eyes. His plea's were muffled and strained.

"May your tainted soul find release" the sheriff prayed with his head down. Reid looked at the sheriff. In one quick motion the sheriff raised the hammer and smashed the sharp rod into Reid's thigh. Reid screamed into Hotch's hand as he felt pain run across his thigh, he felt a warm sensation on his thigh. He didn't need to see it to know it was blood. He breathed quickly through his nose trying not to think of the pain in his leg.

Reid barely noticed when the sheriff travelled over to his other thigh and placed another rod above it. Reid tensed as he waited for the pain hoping that it wouldn't hurt as much as the first. He let out another muffled scream as the rod ripped through his flesh causing blood to soak into his trousers.

"Three more and the soul will be opened" the sheriff almost sang.

"Now hold his hands open."

Morgan walked next to Reid and pried open Reid's clenched fist and held it open against the bed. The sheriff placed the rod over his hand causing Reid to shake his head in denial, Hotch put his other hand on his forehead and held his head so that it faced the ceiling. Reid sobbed and screamed as he felt the rod pin his hand into the mattress. He whined into Hotch's hand knowing that he still had to endure two more excruciating pains. The fourth rod pinned his hand to the bed. Reid couldn't help his screams of pain.

Reid began to feel the effects of blood loss from his wounds, he started to feel slightly weak. He barely noticed the sheriff as he climbed on top of him and placed the rod just above his stomach. Reid eye's bulged open as he felt the rod run through him. Reid saw his vision cloud but heard the sheriff whisper a few last words in his ear before the darkness engulfed him.

"Your soul has been released Spencer Reid. Enjoy it before the sacrifice."

When Reid woke the pain coursing through his body and the total darkness presses in around him converged into a whimper he was obliged to let escape his lips.

An orange haze flooded his eyelids.

"Hello?" He kept his eyes closed, fighting the weakness making his whole body heavy and hating how weak his voice sounded. He had to stay awake, that's what his instincts were telling him, but it was so hard to do. Sleep beckoned, so appealing and fuzzy and warm, a buffer between him and intensely unappealing reality.

He could hear footsteps coming closer and forced his eyes open wincing at the surge of nausea and dizziness that nearly overwhelmed him. Reid was sure that if his stomach wasn't already empty it would have been after that. When his vision finally stopped swimming he found himself wishing it was dark again.

Dark so that he didn't have to see the man who stood before him.

" Sheriff." Reid kept his eyes focused downward and pushed through his pain taking in as much of his surroundings as possible through his peripheral vision. He noticed that he had moved to a much dirtier room. He was relieved when he felt his hand were no longer bound but he couldn't help the pain surging through his hands and legs.

"Hello doctor Reid. I trust you find your accommodations comfortable."

Yeah, if being chained by the ankle to a lumpy, hard single bed a toilet and sink in the corner, and a door with no handle on the inside was comfortable then this place was the Ritz. He wanted to throw back a mouthy response but before he could his head throbbed, pulsating, and a second waive of dizziness washed over him. Pain blossomed in his cheek as the sheriff slapped him, sending his neck snapping to the side.

"Speak when spoken to." The sheriff smiled then, which instantly made Reid weary. "I brought you a friend." Reid's eyes travelled around the sheriff to the slightly ajar door and his heart began to hammer.

"Hotch?" Reid turned his eyes to the sheriff ignoring the knots that twisted and warped the inside of his stomach.

"Please don't." He had to screw his eyes together against the pain. God, it even hurt to breathe. "I'll be good, I promise! There's no need to bring him in here." The sheriff smirked.

"Oh there's no need to worry. I brought him because if you don't get your wounds bandaged properly things might not end well. We can't have our sacrifice die on us now can we–" He motioned towards the door. "–at least, not yet."

Hotch stepped forward into the room and Reid's heart started to beat faster. He watched as the sheriff walked to the door.

"You have 10 minutes, agent Hotchner, to do as much as you can for him, first aid supplies are next to the bed."

The door slammed shut, leaving Reid and his boss alone. Hotch rushed forward kneeling beside the bed near the first aid supplies and opening the kit.

"Reid are you alright? Where does it hurt?" Hotch paled as he saw the holes through Reid's hands and reached for the one closest to him.

Reid jerked away. "Don't touch me!" He watched Hotch's brow crease and steeled himself for the punishment that was sure to come.

But it didn't happen, and after a moment Reid let his eyes open again and met his bosses look with a confused one of his own.

"I'm not going to hurt you Reid."

Reid realised that Hotch no longer had the dead stare on his face, he saw flickers of emotion in Hotch's eyes. Reid knew he should have felt relieved but he couldn't. Hotch had seemed normal just before he had beat him into unconsciousness.

"Reid I only have ten minutes to help you. Give me your hand" Hotch ordered before taking Reid's hand and inspecting the damage. Hotch set about cleaning the wound, he heard Reid whimper with pain as washed the wound to avoid it getting infected. Reid avoided eye contact the entire time.

"Reid I am so sorry. I couldn't control myself, I wanted to stop but the sheriff has done something. I think he's drugged us with something. I woke up earlier and came out of it. Morgan is still under the influence though" Hotch explained as he finished bandaging Reid's left hand and moved on to the right. He repeated the cleaning process and continued to Reid's thighs. Hotch felt like gagging as he saw the wound but knew he had to stay strong for Reid.

"Reid, I didn't mean to hurt you" Hotch said sadly as he started to wrap Reid's thigh in a large bandage.

"You did though Hotch. You beat me, you've silenced me and you helped them hurt me! You should have fought against the drug. You have always said that you would protect me but you didn't!" Reid sobbed angrily as he tried to bat away Hotch's hand from his other thigh.

"I'm sorry! I didn't want to" Hotch said before he finished Reid's last wound. The door creaked open causing both men to look up.

"Such a good soldier Agent Hotchner, step away from it now" the Sheriff ordered.

"No!" Hotch snapped back, he stood up and stepped in front of Reid.

"I'm trying to save your soul Agent. You've been under this demon's lies and influences for too long, I'm trying to give you salvation" the Sheriff said calmly as he walked towards Hotch.

"You are delusional, this entire town is delusional. You are not touching him again" Hotch said. Hotch lunged and tackled the Sheriff, the two men fell to the ground and struggled while Reid looked on helplessly. Hotch yelped when he felt a sharp sting in his neck.

"I promised salvation and I'm going to give it to you" Sheriff Anderson said. He smiled as he saw the drug take effect and the dead stare return to the Agent's eyes. Hotch stepped to his feet and helped the sheriff up causing Reid to begin breathing heavily. He stared at Hotch and saw the Hotch that scared him.

"Come along Hotchner, I have more work for you."

Hotch walked out of the room leaving Reid alone with the sadistic Sheriff.

"Why would you do that? Why did you let him have his free will again if you were just going to drug him?" Reid asked confused. The sheriff marched over to Reid and grabbed Reid's jaw so that they were face to face.

"To show you that I have more control over him then you do. I'll be back soon Spencer Reid and I will seal the evil within you with the mighty fire of God."

Reid grunted as the Sheriff threw his head beck against the bed.

He was going to die. He knew he was going to die. Worst of all he knew that it was going to be because of those he had trusted.

_**Trust **__**is **__**like **__**a **__**vase..**__**once **__**it's **__**broken, **__**though **__**you **__**can **__**fix **__**it **__**the **__**vase **__**will **__**never **__**be the **__**same **__**again.**__** –**__**unknown**_


	5. goodbye

_**Gothina234: Hey everyone. I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your reviews. I hope that you are enjoying this and I assure you. Also Alison Burns is an amazing writer and she is brilliant for her support of my other fanfics as well as getting me out of a very long writer's block. Enjoy! Oh and also happy Halloween to everybody! What are you going to be for Halloween!**_

_**Alison: Hi guys! I'm not the amazing one, gothina is definitely the amazing one. She would have updates for you 7 days a week INCLUDING stat holidays and sundays because she's just that awesome. I, unfortunately, an not that awesome. With that in mind seriously go check out her other stories I swear to you they're the best stuff you've ever read. OKAY, annnnndddddd now...**_

_**Disclaimer:- Hubble bubble toil and trouble... send us the rights to criminal minds - *Potion**_**_ blows up in face*. Oh Bullocks!_**

__A hallucination is a fact, not an error; what is erroneous is a judgment based upon it. - Bertrand Russell__s__

Reid stared into the darkness that had surrounded him. Reid could only presume that he had been down in the basement all night, he had drifted in and out of a restless sleep. He was too worried about what was going to happen to him and his team. His heart jumped slightly when he heard footsteps approaching the basement door. Reid lifted himself up, he bit his lip to try take his mind off the pain radiating over his body. He shuffled backwards slowly till he found himself leaning up against the cold wall his bed was placed against.

The door whipped open making Reid yelp slightly. His eyes looked fearfully at the sheriff as he entered the room with Morgan in tow.

"Hello Spencer Reid, are you ready for the next cleansing?" the Sheriff smiled happily.

"Please don't" Reid said as he shook his head in denial. The Sheriff walked calmly to Reid and took the chain of his ankle, he nodded to Morgan who produced rope from the bag he had been holding. Reid didn't bother to fight the sheriff as he tied his hands and legs together.

"Carry our young guest upstairs Agent Morgan."

Reid whimpered slightly as Morgan picked up Reid into a fireman's carry. Reid fought the urge to throw up as he was carried up the stairs. His head spun at the sudden movement.

"Reid!" a female voice screamed. Reid knew it was familiar but his mind was too lost in the fog that surrounded his mind. Reid thought for a few more seconds before the answer came in a flash. Garcia had been the one to scream his name.

_Wasn't__she__like__Morgan?_ Reid thought.

Morgan walked over to the lit fireplace and threw Reid to the floor. Reid cried out in pain at the impact. Reid opened his eyes fully to see the rest of his team handcuffed to chairs, he saw their worried and frightened gazes and knew that they were back to normal. He had hoped that they wouldn't have to see him in such a weak and fragile state. All of them froze when they saw the sheriff hover over Reid and smile. Morgan had been ordered into the corner of the room.

"They say fire cleanses the soul, I'm going to use it to cleanse you and mark you as our saviour. Would you like Spencer?" the Sheriff whispered playfully to Reid.

"I'd like for you to go to hell you son of a bitch" Reid grunted back not caring about another slap. What confused Reid the most was that their was no slap or retaliation for his comment. The sheriff simply smiled with wide eyes at Reid.

"Tsk Tsk Spencer. I guess our cleansing session is going to be longer than I thought" the Sheriff sighed before walking over to the fire place. Reid could only look on as the Sheriff produced a searing hot poker with a cross about three inches in size on the end.

"Please, I'm begging you. Don't do that!" Reid screamed as the Sheriff walked over to him with the poker. Reid writhed and fought against the rope holding him preying that by some miracle it would snap and he would be able to fight back. Reid had a distant thought of wanting to laugh.

_An__IQ__of__187__and__that__popped__in__your__head_ Reid thought.

"Shhhh... I assure you that you'll thank me later. The mark of God helps all who receive the it" the sheriff said before beckoning Morgan over to Reid. Moments later Reid was on stomach, his face being held against the floor.

"Leave him alone you deranged bastard" Emily screamed as she saw the Sheriff approach Reid. JJ couldn't say anything as the tears ran down her face while Penelope looked more horrified than all of them. She couldn't believe that Morgan would help the Sheriff willingly. Morgan, her chocolate Adonis was hurting her sweet baby boy. She's closed her eyes not wanting to see the horror.

"He's just a kid, you're gonna make him go into shock" Rossi yelled as he saw Reid start to breath heavier and heavier with each step the Sheriff took.

"Receiving the mark of God is the next step" Sheriff Anderson said gently before quickly lifting Reid's shirt up and placing the searing hot cross into the middle of his back. Reid arched upwards before the pain completely engulfed him.

Reid felt a white searing flash of pain before letting out a blood curdling scream. Reid sobbed and screamed as he felt the cross burn his back. Reid felt his body fall to the floor as the poker was released from his back. The sheriff walked over to fire and started to heat up the poker again.

"Just kill me already" Reid pleaded as he sobbed into the dirty carpet. Reid laid there for moment before a powerful kick forced him onto his back. Reid hissed as he felt his shirt make contact with his blackened skin.

The Sheriff ripped open Reid's shirt and thrust the poker over where Reid's heart was. Reid screamed again as he felt the pain electrify his chest with pain. He could hear the faint screams of his fellow team members as they watched the scene unfold. He wanted to gag as he smelled his flesh burning but fought the urge again. He looked at calm face of the Sheriff before his mind screamed surrender and dragged itself and Reid into the realm of unconsciousness.

Reid awoke to find a strangely soothing shiver of cold running over his body. He slowly opened his eyes to a familiar room, he was thankful that their was a small bulb of light above him. Reid realized that he was laid on the bed, he lifted his head slightly to find that he had smeared the pillow with blood during his slumber. He was so weak, he felt like glass about to break, the cracks of pain causing his to feel this way. Reid twisted his bodily sharply before hissing and whimpering as he felt a horrible pain on his skin.

A quick glance toward chest showed him that the sheriff had continued with his 'cleansing' while he had been unconscious. Reid felt four more pains along the spine of his back. Reid wheezed as he struggled to stay calm, he knew that they would scar, he would have to live with the reminders everyday. He silently hoped that he would not have to endure that emotional pain.

"It hurts doesn't it?" a voice said through Reid's veil of silence. Reid's eyes froze open with fear and shock as he recognized the voice. It was a kind voice of someone who had helped him yet caused him the most harm in the long run. It was the voice of Tobias Hankel. Reid looked across the room to see Tobias sitting on the floor leaning against the wall.

"You're dead! I killed you, you're not real." Reid moaned as he shrunk his body into the bed as if it would protect him from future harm.

"I know but right now I'm the only thing keeping you from going insane. It hurts being branded with the sign of the lord. You didn't deserve that, if I could ease your pain I would," Tobias said softly.

Reid let out a weak laugh as he considered his hallucinations words. He had finally lost it, he was seeing the man he had killed as if he was trying to soothe him. Reid suddenly remembered his last words. He had finally cracked, he strangely didn't care. His hallucination was comforting in some deranged way.

"Never ever try to ease my pain. You nearly ruined my life by trying to help me." Reid said angrily.

"What I did I did to try and help you. How do you feel?"

"Everything hurts" Reid sobbed " I've been stabbed with metal rods, beaten and bound and now branded. My friends are the ones doing this, the people I trusted are the people who are going to kill me."

"You're having an irrational thought Spencer. You can't blame them, they were drugged and they can't control their actions. They are puppets for an evil puppeteer like I was a puppet to my father's will. You have to stay strong. You are not weak." Tobias told him.

"Right, not weak." Reid threw as much bitter sarcasm behind the words as he could. "If it was Hotch or Morgan instead of me don't you think they would have found a way to get us out of this mess? Don't you think they would have fought back?"

"But they haven't, have they?" They can't stop the sheriff controlling them anymore than you could stop what he's done to you." There was a moment of silence where Reid struggled with the pain threatening to overwhelm him, somehow still managing to look Tobias directly in the eyes.

Hell, if he was going crazy he might as well go with it.

"The sheriff's going to kill me soon, isn't he." He didn't need the flash of sympathy in Tobias's eyes to know he was right, he could feel it. Reid's voice grew quiet. "Why is he doing this?"

"Because he believes sacrificing you will bring this town the peace it's looking for."

Reid gritted his teeth. "I'm always getting us into these things. The team would be better off without me."

Just like that Tobias was next to him, eyes blazing, and Reid cringed. "How many cases would they have solved without you? How many lives have you saved, how many loved ones have you reunited with families? Does that mean nothing?" Reid turned away, so he didn't have to look into those eyes any longer.

"You're a hallucination brought on by stress, a figment of my imagination. What could you possibly know?" He turned back just in time to see Tobias shrugged.

"I'm not sure, you tell me. You and I know better than anyone how potent the mind can be." For a moment they stayed just like that, staring at one another as the silence enveloped them.

Reid was the first to look away. "I can't take this anymore. Everything hurts so bad." His voice cracked and Tobias tilted his head to the side studying him.

"The only way you're going to get through this is if you believe you're strong enough to. If you believe in yourself–" Tobias tensed, head whipping towards the door. "He's coming." That's when Reid heard the footsteps and felt a stab of fear and adrenaline surge through him. "Stay strong." Tobias began to fade and Reid could see through him now. "Don't give up, good luck Spencer." With that, the door was flung open and Tobias vanished completely leaving Reid staring at the sheriff, Morgan, and Hotch.

"Please." He groaned doing his best to shuffle backwards away from them. "Can't you just leave me alone?" His heart stated to speed up and his careful deep breaths turned raged the moment Morgan grabbed one of his arms and Hotch took the other. "You win, alright, I'd sinned and I needed to pay for my sins but I've done that now my soul is cleansed so if you'll just leave me alone." It came out fast, the last bit almost as a whimper, and silently Reid scolded himself.

Oh yeah, he was real strong.

The sheriff just ignored him though, calmly removing a small key and unlocking the chain around Reid's ankle before straightening up again and looking him in the eye.

"Oh no, Doctor Reid. You may think your soul is cleansed, but the truth is there's still one particular, rather important step we've yet to complete." Reid blanched, struggling against Morgan and Hotch's iron grips but the sheriff only laughed. "Don't worry Dr. Reid, it's not time for that quite yet. Right now, I have a surprise for you." Reid watched as the sheriff motioned towards Hotch and Morgan who started to drag him out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Where are you taking me?" He directed the question at the sheriff who easily kept pace beside them as Hotch and Morgan dragged him up stairs and down hallway after hallway, wincing at the pain that made his whole body feel like it was on fire.

"I'm taking you to say goodbye." Reid felt a burst of adrenaline and fear run through him so strong that it made him dizzy and his ears started to ring. He could barely focus as the as the sheriff held up his hand and Morgan and Hotch halted him before a thick metal door. The thick metal door opened to reveal the faces of team. Hotch and Morgan pushed him through the door where he felt his body rush towards the ground.

It was a good thing Prentiss was there to catch him and help him to his knees because in his weakened sate he probably would have fallen flat on his face.

"Reid!" The rest of the team pressed in around them. "Reid I'm so sorry, what he did to you, there was nothing we could–"

Normally a compartmentalizing queen, Prentiss was struggling. Reid laid a hand on her shoulder as he felt his dizziness lessen.

"Em, it's alright. This isn't any of your faults." Reid took in each of their faces in turn. JJ's was white and Prentiss was trembling but trying to hide it. Rossi was attempting to stay strong for the team's sake but he wasn't doing better that the rest of them. Garcia reached out to touch his arm and he had to use all his will power not to jerk away.

He'd never liked being touched but now, now he hated it.

"My chocolate god did this to you?" A tear navigated down her cheek.

"I told you none of us are to blame. Morgan and Hotch," Reid hesitated for a moment. "The sheriff's controlling them right now, they aren't themselves."

"Gee ya think." Prentiss's hands clenched into fists. There was a moment of tense silence before Reid broke it.

"You have to get out of here." Reid was so quiet that for a moment he had the absurd notion that they hadn't heard him. Then Rossi met his eyes and he knew that was stupid.

We're not leaving you." Reid opened his mouth to ague but Rossi held up a hand.

"It's not just you Reid. There must be a way to help Morgan and Hotch." Reid's insides tightened.

"You can come back, bring the police. The sheriff likes them, they'll be safe until you can get back."

"And what about you? Why'd they let us see you now?" Reid flinched and looked away, not wanting to meet Prentiss's eyes.

"I don't know." The lie came surprisingly easy. "But I'll be fine." The sheriff's words echoed again and again in his head.

_I__brought__you__to__say__goodbye._He lifted his head and then he did meet her eyes. Just as the sheriff, Hotch, and Morgan burst the door.

They all tensed, jumping to their feet and whirling around. Reid managed it too, although the effect left him feeling once again lightheaded and dizzy. Before Reid could stop it Rossi slid in front of him protectively. He could see Prentiss eyeing Hotch and Morgan who were blocking the door as if she were trying to determine the best way to take them out and escape as the sheriff came forward. "Times up, Dr. Reid."

Panic coursed through him. "Please just five more minutes." The sheriff shook his head coming closer. "Please!"

"Move, old man." Rossi scowled in a way only he could. If the situation hadn't been so deadly, Reid might have laughed.

"Haven't you done enough?"

"Morgan." The sheriff nodded in his new minion's direction and all of a sudden he had a gun in his hand and all of a sudden it was aimed at Garcia who whimpered as he grabbed her arm and pressed the barrel to the side of his head.

"Morgan?" Her voice was shaky. "Morgan it's me."

His grip on her arm only tightened. Satisfied the sheriff turned back to Rossi. "Move, or he blows her head off." His voice was dead, devoid of any emotion.

"Rossi move." Reid shouldered his way past the older agent, refusing to resist when he felt the sheriff grab him. "Please just tell him to put the gun away." Reid did everything he could to keep his voice steady but his stomach lurched when the sheriff shook his head.

"Don't put the gun away just yet Morgan." He shot Reid a sickening grin. "If you do one of them might just try something stupid."The sheriff shifted his grip slightly, producing a cloth. He held it over Reid's mouth and the sweet scent nearly overwhelmed him. His vision was full of spots and it was impossible to fill his lungs with a clean breath as he slumped against the sheriff.

As he lost consciousness he thought he could hear shouting of some kind but the only words his brain was able to understand were the ones whispered right in his ear.

"And so it begins."

With that, the darkness claimed him.

_Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye? ~Author Unknown_


	6. cleansing

**__**Gothina 234 - Hello everyone. Thank you for sticking with this fanfic. All reviews are greatly appreciated. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. My super smart partner in crime is brilliant and her support is brilliant. Three cheers for Ali!**__**

_**Alison-If I get three cheers you get 4 Becky. Every time I think how can she possibly make this story better, how can she possibly find a way to impress me more than she already has, she finds a way. I swear, you're going to be the biggest of names one day. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, etc. Sorry I've been bad about replying to reviews as of late we truly appreciate them things have just been super busy with school and extra shifts at work.**_

_**Disclaimer: If we owned criminal minds, you wouldn't have to wait until the end of December for "True Genius". Instead, it would air this Wednesday and every Wednesday after that would be Reidcentric =P. **_

_All concerns of men go wrong when they wish to cure evil with evil. - Sophocles_

_For death is not the worst, but when one wants to die and is not even able to have that. - Sophocles_

Reid groaned as he tried opened his eyes. His mind suddenly felt like it was jumbled up. He heard a variety of voices and wondered what the hell was going on. Reid's mind sparked alive as he remembered his team, he remembered a sweet smell and then nothing. Reid opened his eyes fully to see dozens of eyes staring back at him. He looked up and saw the haunting face of the sheriff looking down at him. Reid tried to shuffle to his side but slid slowly to the floor in a heap.

"See this demon! He can be hurt, I have started to cleanse him so that he will be an honourable and pure sacrifice" the sheriff preached to his obedient followers.

An uproar of cheer erupted from the crowd causing Reid to jumped slightly. Reid started to try and crawl away, he knew it was futile but he just wanted escape. The crowd instantly silenced causing Reid fear.

"You see how pathetic this demon is" mocked the sheriff as he walked over to Reid.

Reid felt a hand around his ankle, his hit the floor as he was roughly pulled by his ankle to a large pool. Reid looked into the shimmering pool, his mind connected the thoughts that had popped into his head. He felt a two large hand pull him to his feet, he whimpered slightly as he felt the sudden pressure on his wounds. He looked up to see Morgan was the one holding him up, Hotch came over and joined them moments later.

"He must be cleansed with the water blessed by the almighty God. This demon shall know the lords power and he will be our salvation. His death will bless this blessed town with God's spirit!" the sheriff preached louder causing the town to cheer again. The sheriff nodded to Morgan and Hotch.

Reid's body flew forward as the two men pushed him into the pool. Reid felt his body smash into the water, for a brief moment the water felt soothing. Reid was aware of two more people entering the pool, he fought their grasps before he was yanked halfway out of the water. He blinked away the blurriness to see the Hotch and Morgan on each side of him holding him by his shoulders. Reid suddenly knew what was going to happen.

"No!" Reid screamed before he pushed under the water again and held there by two rough hands. Reid kicked and thrashed in the water. His body screamed for oxygen, Reid let panic overtake him as he struggled under the water. Reid was pulled from the water, he gasped as he felt precious and beautiful air reach his lungs.

"Again!" the sheriff ordered causing Reid to quickly look at Hotch and Morgan. He felt scared as he saw nothing but emptiness.

Reid thrashed again, he ignored the pain in his body. Hotch and Morgan thrust Reid back under the water. Reid had barely been able to take a breath before he felt the familiar embrace of the water. Reid thrashed again but his effort was weaker.

Let the water in, end it Reid thought.

Reid suddenly knew how he could make the pain stop. He knew he was going to die anyway, he could end it before the sheriff hurt him further. He would miss his team and he worried for his mother but the urge to end it took over. Reid stopped struggling and let the water fill his lungs. He thrashed a few times before he felt nothing. He saw nothing but the beautiful darkness.

The sheriff noticed that the demon had stopped struggling, he ordered Hotch and Morgan to pull the demon up.

The demon was limp as he was pulled from the pool and placed on the cold hard floor, he was pale and his lips a pale blue.

"Bring him back now!" the sheriff ordered. The demon had tried to take away his chance of being a saviour, he was going to make the demon pay severely.

Reid felt is body jerk and water rush out of his mouth. He gagged and coughed as he felt air burn his lungs. Reid opened his eyes slightly and saw Morgan above him. Reid felt his heart ache as he knew his attempt at escaping had failed. He had been brought back into a hellhole of pain and suffering.

Morgan moved out of Reid's vision, the sheriff was above him with an angry look on his face.

"It's time for you to be seen as you are" the sheriff said coldly. The sheriff grabbed Reid short hair and began to drag him across the floor. Reid screamed as he tried to grasp pitifully at the hand dragging him. He saw the townspeople follow them. Reid yelped as he felt the gravel scrape against his brands. He sobbed not knowing what was going to happen. Reid was pulled up and turned to face and see what was about to happen to him.

"Please don't" he pleaded as the sheriff and three unknown men pushed onto the large cross. Reid begged and cried as he felt his arms and legs being tied to the cross. He yelped again as the rope was pulled tightly. He saw the sheriff leave and knew when he returned he was going to suffer again.

_**Just**__**let**__**me**__**die**_ Reid pleaded in his mind

XXXXXXXXXXX

Emily's eyes were glued to the small glass window of their cell. It was only big enough for one person to look out of but she could see everything going on below. She could see it all, but she almost wished she couldn't.

Emily's breath hitched in her throat.

"What is it?" Rossi was by her side instantly, abandoning his pacing Emily would have thought more characteristic of Morgan.

Morgan…Hotch…

They'd been dragging him outside, to where a whole group of people were waiting and now they were there, all huddled waiting around a pool.

"They're dragging him towards a pool." She sucked in a breath as Morgan and Hotch submerged Reid's thrashing body under water. "God no! They're going drown him!" She pounded as hard as she could against the glass feeling the panic of being unable to do anything wash over her.

Just as she was sure they'd held him under too long, that they really had killed him, up came a sputtering and coughing Spencer Reid. Emily had never felt so relieved in her life.

Until, of course, they held him under again. Reid didn't fight back nearly as hard as he did before. Em could only assume he was weakened already from the first time. Even when he went still, they just kept holding him under. Emily reached out and caught Rossi's wrist in a death grip.

"Prentiss what is it?" Emily's eyes never left the window for a moment as Morgan started CPR.

"He stopped struggling, he's not breathing."

Prentiss sunk to her knees, feeling tears run down her face. She barely noticed Rossi and Garcia comforting her or that JJ had taken her place at the window.

"He's back." The words that came from JJ's mouth were like a bottle of ice water in the middle of the desert but it didn't last long because as Prentiss lifted her face and trained her eyes on her colleague and friend JJ's expression turned grim again.

"Bastards! No!" JJ's hands balled into fists.

"What, what are they doing?" Prentiss was glad Garcia asked, because she wasn't sure she could. The horror in JJ's voice when she answered was clear.

JJ's heart ached as she watched Reid struggle from a distance; he looked so vulnerable and hurt.

"They're tying him to a cross."

She watched Reid beg and sob, the sheriff walked out of her view for a moment before returning with a knife in his hand. Her breathing hitched as she saw the sheriff place the tip of the blade on his stomach.

"No!" JJ screamed.

A piercing scream hit the air, it could be heard faintly through the glass.

"What's happening?" Rossi asked before he went to the window, his eyes when wide with anger when he saw what was happening.

"They are carving something in his stomach" JJ sobbed. She watched Reid cry before he went completely still. She thought the worst for a moment before realising that he had passed out from pain and stress afflicting his body. She was relieved partly, he couldn't feel pain if he was unconscious.

JJ buried herself into Rossi's chest and sobbed. Rossi hugged her tightly while still keeping an eye on Reid. He saw the town raise the cross up and pray in front of it. Reid looked dead. Rossi hoped that he was alright.

They left Reid alone after that and Hotch, Morgan and the sheriff slipped out of view. JJ turned away from the window all the colour gone from her face.

They stayed like that for an hour, overwhelmed by the weight of the darkness sitting on each of their hearts.

A turning of the doorknob brought them back to the present.

The sheriff, Morgan, and Hotch appeared at the door. The sheriff held a knife to Hotch's throat while Morgan aimed a gun into the room, keeping them at bay. The sheriff shoved Hotch inside the room and left without a word.

Hotch scrambled to his feet as the team surrounded him. "What…what's going on?" Prentiss felt anger rise in her chest.

"What's going on?" She felt her voice rising dangerously close to a shriek. "What's going on is that Reid is tied to a fucking cross outside after nearly being tortured to death, we're all being held hostage here by a sheriff who is so out of his mind crazy doesn't even begin to cover it and you and Morgan just spent the last five days playing lackey to the man. So what right do you have to march in here and DEMAND to know what the hell is going on? I think we're the ones who should be asking that question!" She watched confusion flash across his eyes as she stopped to suck in a breath.

"I…It's all a blank. I don't remember any of it…"

"Are you seriously telling me that you don't remember anything?" Emily questioned with a violent edge to her voice.

"I..uh...wait? I remember something. I was myself for a while, he took me to Reid to help him. Oh god! He had holes in his hands and legs. He wouldn't let me touch him. What did I do?" Hotch said as he felt a wave of guilt flood over himself.

"Hotch..."Rossi said before he was interrupted.

"You have to tell me what I did!" Hotch shouted, he needed to know.

_The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and must therefore be treated with caution. - J.K. Rowling_

_**Quel pensez-vous? Sorry, French class on the brain. What do you think? We'd love to know!**_

**_Alison: Hi guys. First of all I want to _****_apologize for the fact that things were hard to read. I want to make it clear that i in no way intended to run the quotes together or to make it worse to read in any way something must have gone wrong when i uploaded it. Second - and I want to make it clear that this is only me speaking so please don't direct any backlash at Becky - I would appreciate it any time you want to let us know about something you feel free to do so as long as you keep it respectful. I'm doing my best to fix things now, if it's still hard to read please tell us and i'll try working with it some more. Cheers =)_**


	7. a sacrifice

**Gothina234:- Hey everyone. Thank you so much for your reviews and adds, they mean so much. I must ask though that if you are leaving a review that you be respectful. The error with the scrunched up writing was not our fault and happened during the upload. Thank you for pointing it out to us but in future I would appreciate if you were respectful to Ali. She's an amazing writer and I am having hgreat time writing with her. Hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews are greatly appreciated. **

**Alison: Hi! So everything has sort of come to a head in this story, get ready! I also just wanted to quickly mention a website i'm currently attempting to get off the ground. Its for beginning writers to hone their skills, to connect with other writers. Please go to my profile for the link if you're interested. Come check it out and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: If we bugged Mathew enough on twitter, do you think he could pull some strings and make CM ours? **

"_Fortunate people often have very favourable beginnings and very tragic endings. What matters isn't being applauded when you arrive – for that is common – but being missed when you leave." – Baltasar Gracian_

When the sheriff came for him in the morning Reid didn't even have the energy to resist him. Instead he let himself be untied from the cross and dragged towards the church, he felt weak, his entire body ached with pain. He was dragged through the doors, he looked and saw the entire town was cheering. He looked over to his team restrained by a group of men.

It was only when the marble alter and the people came into view that somewhere inside him he found the power to struggle.

_Oh god. It's happening._

"Stop fighting!" the sheriff ordered roughly before shoving Reid

Reid smashed roughly into the side of the altar sending shooting pains through his head and making him see stars. The sheriff stood above him an expression on his face like it was Christmas morning. Reid yelped as the sheriff grabbed his hair and yanked him up to face the cheering crowd. He couldn't help the sob that escaped his lips.

"This demon must be punished, he must feel our power one last time before the sacrifice" the sheriff told the group.

Reid was pulled up to face the sheriff, he knew the sheriff saw the fear in his eyes. Without warning the sheriff punched Reid in his gut making the engraved cuts on his stomach sear with pain. Reid fell to the floor and dry heaved. The sheriff kicked Reid onto his back before sending kicking him in the side. Reid yelped again as he felt at least two of his ribs breaks, the sheriff continued to kick him. He heard his team yelling at the sheriff to stop. The sheriff grabbed Reid's hair again and sent a punch into the side of Reid's head. He kicked Reid again directly in the stomach.

Reid struggled to breathe for moment as he felt a hot sticky substance force it's way up his throat, he coughed the substance into his hand. He brought his hand away from himself and his eyes widened with fear. It was soaked in blood.

_Internal __bleeding_ Reid thought.

Reid collapsed to the floor and laid there as the sheriff began to talk to his group again.

"The time has come to sacrifice this demon and bring god's love upon us. Do you have any last words, demon, before we finish this?" Reid met his eyes.

"Go to hell." He enunciated each word slowly and as loud as he could. He tensed, expecting the sheriff to get angry, but the man just shook his head. He decided after seeing the blood on his hand that he was already dying. He didn't care what they did to him anymore. The sheriff dragged Reid and then lifted him up to the marble altar, he secured Reid to the altar and then smiled.

"No, demon, you're the one going to hell." The sheriff stepped out of the way and gestured to Morgan.

Reid stared up into Morgan's dead eyes as he and the knife he held came closer. He struggled weakly against the rope securing him to the top of the altar but that didn't work either. He was stuck, he couldn't move.

"Morgan stop, think about what you're doing." He didn't have to take his eyes of Morgan to know who that was.

_It __won__'__t __do __anything __Hotch._

"He's your friend." JJ. There was the sound of someone being backhanded and JJ cried out in pain.

_Don__'__t __give __them __a __reason __to __hurt __you._

"You know this isn't real." It wasn't going to do anything, but he couldn't help trying. Reid's mouth had a mind of its own now and he was talking really fast, like he always does when he gets nervous.

"You said it yourself. How is this god's will? His plan for me, for us?" Morgan never faltered and Reid flinched as he grabbed his arm with one hand and readied the knife in the other.

"It's the way it has to be, pretty boy." Tears sprung to Reid's eyes.

"Morgan please." His voice cracked then he gritted his teeth against the pain as Morgan dragged the knife across first one wrist. Reid felt every second of the cut, he felt a second sharp pain run across his other wrist.

_Oh __god, __I'm __going __to __bleed __to __death. __This __is __how __I'm __going __to __die, __I've __been __through __so __much. __At __least __the __nightmares __will __go __away_ Reid thought before a foggy mist started to enter his mind.

"Bastard!"

The howl came from Emily but it stopped quick as her captor shook her roughly. Garcia had tears of her own running down her face and Hotch's mask of composure had long since shattered to nothingness. Rossi had his eyes closed and was praying, or maybe swearing, in Italian.

A thought hit him hard as Morgan stepped back to stand beside the sheriff and he zeroed in on his colleagues, ignoring the fact that there was an entire town standing idly by as his heart pumped his blood out through his wrists staining the marble redder and redder.

He was going to die, and his entire team was going to see it…

His eyes found Prentiss again, held back by two large men and even they were barely controlling her. Despite everything, he smiled through his tears. He couldn't stand the thought of having to go so soon after her return had made them, made him, whole again but he was so grateful. So grateful she was okay and so grateful he'd had a chance to hear her voice, her laughter again when he'd thought all he had left was unsaid goodbyes and a photograph.

Yes, Spencer Reid realised as he looked into each of his teammates faces. He was a pretty lucky genius to have had such amazing people as part of his life. He was lucky to have Hotch as a rock and protector whenever things seemed impossible. He seriously doubted there was anyone out there who could make him laugh like Garcia, she always knew exactly what to say. Rossi was the one who you didn't have to say anything to, he just knew, and Reid was thankful for that too.

Then there was JJ and Prentiss, the glue that stuck their dysfunctional torn apart family together and the bones that held it up. They both had so much bravery, so much courage.

Even as Reid's eyes met Morgan's he couldn't find anything but warmth inside him. He knew his friend, and this man might look like Morgan but it wasn't him, not truly.

"It's okay," he whispered so quietly he wasn't even sure Morgan could hear him over the towns chanting growing steadily louder. "I understand, I forgive you." He closed his eyes as another tear navigated his cheek. "This isn't your fault, none of it is."

He rested his head against the alter, eyes still closed, as the exhaustion of blood loss started to set in. God, it was so much effort to stay awake, so much easier to sleep and then, somehow, he knew that when he woke everything would be alright. The pain, the suffering, it would all end.

But his team was screaming at him. Why were they screaming at him? A twinge of annoyance shot through him. Couldn't they just leave him alone? Hadn't he done enough for them? What more could they possibly want? He tried to open his eyes, just in case something was wrong. His body refused to respond, refused to move.

Instead, the warmth he felt start in his heart spread outward enveloping him in a protective bubble where he couldn't be reached and it dragged him farther and farther under until not even the desperate pleading voices of his teammates could keep him in the realm of the conscious any longer.

The last thing he was aware of before the darkness claimed him was the sound of sirens and shouting.

XXXX

Hotch heard the sirens approaching just as Reid's body went limp. Moments later, his wishes were granted and out of town police and even a whirling helicopters arrived on the scene.

He watched with satisfaction as the sheriff tried to run only to be tackled to the ground. The satisfaction didn't last long.

The moment the members of the town were subdued and they were freed from the arms of the sheriff's lackeys he ran to Reid who was already being loaded into the helicopter. He admired how first the paramedics had started to treat Reid.

"I'm sorry sir." One of the paramedics held up a hand. "You'll have to stand back."

Hotch looked at Reid and felt immense guilt. Reid was barely alive and he was the one responsible. The team had told him of his brutality to Reid, he didn't know whether his memories of hurting Reid would ever surface. A part of him hoped they would, he needed to know what he done. A part of him hoped he would never remember, he didn't want to see what kind of monster he was capable of being .

Hotch found Rossi's eyes and seeming to understand the older agent nodded in his direction.

"Can I ride with you?" The paramedic nodded.

"If you come right now. He can't wait."

Hotch grimaced and climbed aboard the helicopter as they finished strapping Reid in and slammed the door shut behind him. Then, they took to the air.

Hotch's heart felt like it was stuck in his throat as he watched the paramedics rush to save Reid's life. They were inserting tubes, attaching wires, shouting numbers at each other. He felt so useless. Worse than useless, he felt responsible.

Because he was…this was all his fault.

The monitor attachment to Reid's heart monitor began to beep wildly. Reid's body convulsed violently for a moment before going completely still. Hotch's heart ached as he saw Reid become still. Reid couldn't die, he can't die. Hotch knew that this would break him. He had barely managed to hold on after Haley's death. He couldn't watch Reid die.

"He's flat lining! Get the pads ready!"

"Charging! 200 volts!" The paramedic who said it held them to Reid's chest. "Now!" Reid's chest heaved upward as the electricity ran through him but fell just as quick.

"No response! Charge again" the paramedic said calmly.

Reid's body shot up as the paramedic placed the paddles on his chest, it thudded back down. The monitor was still for a moment before a loud beep echoed through the helicopter. Before Hotch would have prayed to god to give them back their team mate but it was because of god that this had happened in the first place so instead he let a single tear fall from his eyes and navigate his cheek.

"He's back!"

xxxxx

Reid became vaguely aware. He felt the soft sheets beneath him rub against his skin, why were there sheets in the afterlife?

_You're __not __dead __genius_ Reid thought.

Reid suddenly realised that he was alive although still on the border on unconsciousness. He knew he had to push his way through the barrier but it was so hard. He forced himself into consciousness, it was then he became all to aware of the pain in his body. He moaned weakly before he started to open his eyes. They fluttered for a moment before opened sluggishly.

He was welcomed with the beautiful sight of Penelope Garcia.

"Garcia" he rasped before cringing at how dry his throat was.

Garcia immediately looked up from her laptop, he saw her eyes start to water slightly before a sad smile spread across her face.

"Reid! You're awake" she gasped. He was surprised when she tried to give him a hug, she stopped though as she realised she was going to hurt him if she hugged him.

Reid tried to speak again but felt his throat protest.

Garcia immediately knew what Reid needed. She filled a plastic cup with water and put it to Reid's lips. She gave him a motherly look of care as she watched him sip the water. Garcia looked at her broken boy genius, she wanted to cry but she knew it would upset Reid. She would save her tears for later.

Reid felt his throat soothe, he let out a small breath before turning back to Garcia. He wanted to know what had happened. He remembered a peaceful oblivion where there was no pain, he had wanted to stay there but he had been pulled away by a searing pain.

"Garcia, what happened?"

"The sheriff and the town have all been arrested. Strauss began an investigation after we didn't check in. She sent an army to come for us, it seems she cares about us more than she lets on. You almost bled to death Reid. Your heart stopped on the way to the hospital and again when you were on the operating table. You had some internal bleeding but they repaired the damage. You've been unconscious for over two days, I was afraid you were never going to wake up" she explained before letting out a small whimper.

"Don't get upset Garcia. I need to see you smile right now" Reid asked.

Reid was about to ask Garcia more questions when the door opened to reveal Hotch and Morgan. Reid's heart suddenly filled with fear as he saw the two men, the two men that has hurt him and helped the sheriff.

"No! Get away! Garcia don't let them hurt me!" Reid cried out as he struggled in his bed, the heart monitor began to beep hysterically. Reid struggled to breath as memories of his time in the town flooded his mind. He remembered Morgan holding his legs as the sheriff stabbed them, he cried as he remembered Hotch's hand silencing his screams.

"Reid we're not going to hurt you" Morgan tried to reassure him as he took a step into the room.

"Stay away!" Reid screamed before he felt something wrong in his body. Reid saw a flash of white before he felt his body convulse.

Garcia watched in horror as Reid began to gasp in pain and convulse. Reid's doctor rushed into the room with two nurses.

"He's having a seizure!"

"_It's not over till it's over" – American Proverb_


	8. fairy godmother

Chapter 8

**Gothina234:- Thank you so much for staying with us on this fic and thank you for your reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter, this is mostly showing how Reid is doing and how much his captivity has affected him. I would love if everyone gave a huge round of a applause to Ali as she has kept me in my writing state of mind. She is awesome and a great writer. **

**Alison: I have nothing on becky's amazingness! Thanks guys for your love and patience with this story and without further adoo here we go!**

**Disclaimer – We don't own the rights to criminal minds, CBS does. If we did Reid would be getting a little bit more screen time this season. **

_No matter how far we travel, the memories will follow in the baggage car. – August Strindberg_

Hotch, Morgan and Garcia were quickly ushered from the room. Garcia looked in horror through the glass as the doctor injected something into Reid's IV. Reid continued to twitch for a few more moments before he became still.

"Why didn't you leave when he pleaded with you to go?" Garcia said angrily as she wiped stray tears from her eyes.

"We weren't going to hurt him, why is he this afraid of us?" Morgan said sadly as he tried to defend his previous actions.

Anger blossomed inside Garcia. She loved Morgan but she had to be honest with him. She had to knock some sense into him.

"He's scared because you both helped a man torture and hurt him. You almost killed him! I know you had no control over your actions but you know how vulnerable Reid can be. He's been through so much in his life and this has not helped him. He is going to have mental and physical scars for the rest of his life. I don't want either of you to step into that room unless you are told to. I'm doing what's best for Spencer" Garcia said angrily to Hotch and Morgan.

Hotch looked at Garcia and knew that she was right. A small part of him also admired how she was standing up to him. He admired her ability to care so strongly for the team. It was what made Garcia who she was.

A doctor walked out of the room a ten minutes later and looked at the three.

"When did Spencer start to stress out?" she asked with authority thick in her voice.

"He was fine up until the point Hotch and Morgan walked in. He started to panic and then he starting convulsing. Is he okay?" Garcia said, her voice wobbled slightly at the prospect of Reid hurt again.

The doctor looked at Garcia with a look of compassion.

"He's fine for now. We managed to stop the seizure but I must ask that you two not enter the room till Spencer is ready" she ordered as she pointed at Hotch and Morgan.

"We already agreed that we wouldn't go in till he was ready to see us" Hotch assured the doctor.

"I must warn you that Spencer is in a delicate state at the moment. The stress he has experienced over the last week or so has put a lot of strain on his body. He needs to be in a calm atmosphere till his body has healed, the seizure was caused by the stress in his body. He's awake at the moment, he's asking for you Penelope. You can go in, you are a calming influence on him. The more you are around the better" the doctor smiled before moving aside.

Garcia practically bolted into the room.

xxxxx

Reid looked up to see Garcia run into his room. He ignored the wet feeling on his cheek and gave her a shaky smile.

"Hey sweetheart" she said kindly before sitting in the chair beside the bed. Reid saw her take out a handkerchief and felt her wipe the tears down his face. He didn't flinch at her touch, he knew by the look in Garcia's eyes that she was relieved about that.

"What happened?" he whispered before resting his head further into his pillow.

"You had a seizure but your alright now Genius" she smiled.

Reid felt panic grip him again as he realised Morgan and Hotch had walked into the room.

"Hotch and Morgan! Garcia please don't let them near me" Reid pleaded, he didn't want them near him.

"Reid calm down. They're gone, they aren't coming back" Garcia whispered to him before she started to run a hand through his hair. Reid calmed down again as he processed Garcia's words. He felt like a child as Garcia stroked her hand through his hair but he didn't care.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him.

"Tired but I want to stay awake for a little while longer, I just need to talk to someone" Reid admitted.

"We can talk but the moment I see you start to slip into sleep mode, I want you to go to sleep. You need your rest Reid" Garcia smiled at him. Reid looked at her as she bent down and picked up a purple bag, she opened it to reveal a little teddy bear that made Reid chuckle lightly. He saw the glasses and professor suit. He knew only Garcia would get him something as silly as that bear. He loved it though.

Reid talked with Penelope for another five minutes before he felt himself being pulled into the realm of darkness, he looked up before he slipped into a swift and peaceful slumber.

xxxx

When Reid woke again Garcia was still there, like his personal blonde, bubbly guardian angel. She'd been sitting in the visitor's chair but when she saw he was awake she shot him a small smile and sat on the edge of his bed.

"How's my baby boy doing?"

How was he doing? Mentally he took an inventory. Every muscle in his body ached. Not like he'd just run a marathon, like they'd recently been set on fire. He felt sluggish and exhausted – sleep pulled at his eyelids even now – but overall he felt better that he ought to for someone who'd nearly died.

Garcia stared at him expectantly, and it was then that he realised he hadn't given her an answer. He shrugged, biting down on his lip as he tried to ignore the pain that coursed through him. "I've been better, but I'll live."

"We'll be here for you all the way, you know that right?" He nodded feeling his chest fill with gratitude. "Thanks Garcia." She grabbed for his hand to squeeze it which would have been fine except she brushed his bandaged wrist and in that moment everything went wrong.

The memory rose up clear and sharp. Morgan looming above him, the cold, dead look in his eyes matching the steel in his hand. He jerked his hand away from Garcia's as he heard the Morgan of his memory call him pretty boy and drew his knees to his chest turning away from her so she wouldn't see the tears fall from his eyes.

Garcia's hand went to his back, but instead of sending him farther into the memory it pulled him out. None of the hands from his memory had been so gentle, none of them so obviously kind.

The tears didn't stop though, even as Morgan's face faded.

"Hey." Her voice was gentle, soft, as she shifted him so he was facing her again. "It's okay, you're safe. It's okay."

He wiped his eyes, embarrassed by the salt water he found there. "I'm sorry Garcia. Everything just came back and…" His voice faltered.

He pursed his lips and sucked in a breath.

"I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the BAU any longer. How am I supposed to do that job with two people I'm afraid of?" Another moment of silence. "Everything's different now."

There, he'd said it. Like a jumbo jet lifted off his chest. Garcia looked sad, and her eyes had a glint about them like she was far, far away.

"They're still your friends, Reid. The same people who've always been there for you. And they'll keep being there for you even if you don't want them to be." She gave a small little laugh. "Maybe that's half the problem. Hotch and Morgan, they're not always good at giving people the space they need. The memories will never go away; they'll always be there. But maybe, eventually, you'll be able to look past them."

She gathered him in a hug, just tight enough to shut out the rest of the world but not hard enough to hurt him. With her arms around him, it was almost possible to believe she was right.

"We can talk about it…if you want."

Reid felt something inside him break as he met her wide eyes. She wanted to help, that's all…

"It's alright Garcia, I'll be fine-" Garcia shook her head.

"But Reid you're not fine and that's completely understandable just please, please let me help. We can talk it out, the two of us." He felt his resolve crumble even as he willed himself to stay strong. She didn't deserve this, but if he kept the memories inside any longer they were going to make him explode.

So he told her. Everything that had happened from the moment they reached Salvation. He left out the Tobias hallucination, not wishing to look entirely insane, but otherwise he stumbled through it all until he reached his near drowning and had to stop as he remembered the feel of the water sliding over his head, the feeling of water filling his lungs. He looked up at Garcia for the first time since he'd started talking and he found her cheeks stained with tears.

"I was just…so tired." Now that he'd look at her it was impossible to look away. "Tired of the fear, tired of the pain. I just wanted it to end." He paused, feeling his gut tighten. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No sweetheart." She reached out with a shaky hand to push a lock of his hair out of his eyes as the tears continued to fall.

"It makes you human. Any of us, we would have felt the same way." Reid felt guilt, hot and heavy like he'd just injected it into himself, riding through his veins. He hadn't meant to make her cry. He looked down.

"I'm sorry I was so weak. I should have focused on finding a way to get us out. I shouldn't have given up."

Garcia's hand was under his chin forcing it up so he'd look at her face. There was a cross between amazement and classic Garcia anger there that, despite everything, almost made him want to laugh.

"This. Is. Not. Your. Fault Reid. Do you understand me? There are so many people to blame for what happened but you are not one of them." There was an urgency in her voice he couldn't remember ever having heard there before.

"There was nothing else you could have done, and you are the strongest person I know."

Gratitude and relief coursed through him so strong it made him sleepy. He tried to ignore it, but Garcia noticed right away.

"I kept you up, you should rest."

She made to stand up but he reached for her hand and caught it so she turned back around.

"You won't tell the others, will you? They, they don't need to know."

She shook her head.

"That's your decision to make, Reid." He nodded, closing his eyes as he sank farther under the covers.

"Thanks Garcia." He mumbled, already halfway between consciousness and dreams.

Then he was done, fast asleep. The currently not so happy tech analyst that was still right beside him though, she was far from done.

In fact, she was just getting started.

Xxx

Reid felt fear as he felt himself trapped again, only this time he was trapped inside a nightmare that threatened never to end. This time he was alone with Morgan and Hotch, the dead eyes staring back at him. Reid was on kneeling on the floor, the basement having returned as his prison.

"Look at the weak little baby" laughed Morgan. Reid looked at Morgan with tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He never thought he would hear Morgan would call him weak.

"An FBI agent? Please! He's nothing more than child. It's a shame Morgan didn't cut your wrists deeper" mocked Hotch.

"Please stop!" Reid pleaded.

"We only want to tell you the truth before you die. Don't worry the blood loss will kill you soon. I cut deeper this time" Morgan smiled before lifting up a small knife covered in blood.

Reid looked down in confusion before realising what Morgan had meant, he lifted his arms up to see them covered in flowing blood. The crimson liquid coating his arms.

"Look at it this way Reid. We did you a favour, you won't end up like your crazy mother. You won't end up a weak drooling piece of crap" Hotch told him.

"SHUT UP!" Reid screamed.

Reid bolted up in his bed managing to let out a small raspy and barely audible scream; he felt his head drip with sweat. He looked around and found no-one to comfort him. He looked at his hands quickly and saw that they were covered in sweat instead of blood.

"Garcia" he rasped. He hoped that by magic she would appear by his bedside. His own fairy godmother. She didn't. Reid grabbed the bear she had given him and just stared at it for a moment. It was then he couldn't help breaking down.

"Anyone" Reid sobbed into the bear. He didn't care if he looked like a child, he just wanted to someone with him who wouldn't hurt him.

_I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? - John Lennon_

_**Alison:**__**Let **__**us **__**know **__**what **__**you **__**think, **__**we **__**would **__**really **__**appreciate **__**it!**_


	9. home

**Gothina234: Hey everyone. It's a new year so let us all hope that it is a good one. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and would like to thank you all again for staying with us. Alison has become my muse. One word from her and I receive inspiration. A round of applause! It's torture waiting for new episodes of Criminal minds. CBS, Why do you torture us so..? Enjoy the chapter and reviews are brilliant. **

**Alison: Hey! As Becky said thanks for sticking with us. We appreciate every add and every review and hope you guys enjoy this as much as we enjoy writing it. Thank you to Becky for being my muse as well, you help me out so much when I'm stuck or just not feeling a scene so thank you! **

**On with the show…**

_The one who loves you will make you weep. – Argentine proverb_

Reid stayed crying for a few more minutes as the memories of his torture came back. He faintly heard the door open but he was too far gone to care who had walked in. Reid sobbed into the small bear like a child but he didn't care. Everyone had left him alone, the people who were supposed to be his friends had deserted him or helped torture him. He had had to take care of himself all his life and he had helped and taken care of others. The one time he needed help and no one was there for him.

"It wasn't finished" a voice echoed through the room. Reid looked up and felt his heart freeze in terror when he saw the man. He knew that the man was called Eric, he was the same man that had told Hotch to shut him up before he had been dragged into the church.

"You're supposed to be locked away" Reid whispered shakily as terror gripped him.

"They never caught me. I knew that if you survived it would lead to the town's end. You are a demon and you have to die. Anderson was going to lead us to something beautiful but you did something and YOU RUINED IT!" Eric yelled.

Reid flinched when Eric raised his voice. Eric pulled out a small blade and stared at it intently for moment. Reid pulled himself up slightly, he knew that if he pressed the alarm that someone would come and help him. Eric removed his gaze from the blade and glared at Reid as he tried to reach the call button.

"Oh no you don't!" Eric yelled as he stormed over to Reid's bed and grabbed his hand.

Reid whimpered when he felt Eric's rough and strong hand grip around his wrist, he felt the cut underneath as Eric held on tighter. Eric brought the blade to Reid's throat and held it against the skin.

Reid stopped dead when he felt the cold steel at his throat. Reid felt tears slide down his cheeks as he looked up to see Eric chanting.

"Please..I'm not a demon. My name is Spencer and I have a mother...please don't hurt me" Reid cried as he pleaded for his attacker not to hurt him. He didn't want to die now, he wanted to see Garcia again.

"May God purify your soul. Amen" Eric said happily before raising the knife and placing it above Reid's chest. Reid shut his eyes waiting for the pain, he heard soft clang before loud voices filled the room. Reid opened his eyes and didn't know how to feel when he saw Hotch and Morgan with their guns aimed at Eric.

"Put the knife down! Now!" Morgan yelled as he watched Eric and the knife with eagle like eyes. He could see that Reid was scared and he felt guilt run through him as he knew that part of the fear was due to his presence.

"He's evil, he's doomed us all" Eric said hysterically before raising the knife.

Reid jumped when two gunshots pierced the air, he looked up and saw Eric fall off the bed, he saw Eric's body become limp on the floor as blood oozed from his chest. Reid looked up and saw Hotch and Morgan frozen in their spots, each unsure of what to do.

"Garcia, it's all clear. We need you in here" Hotch said in his usual work voice.

Moments later Reid felt a flicker of joy cut through his fear when he saw Garcia come through the door and run to the bed. Reid smiled at the sight his fairy godmother. Reid leaned forward and was met with Garcia's warming hug. She held onto him tight and rubbed his back. He felt himself become calmer but he still couldn't shake the small feeling of fear when he saw Hotch and Morgan in the room.

'They saved you. They aren't going to hurt you' Reid thought, the thought was logical but Reid was unsure whether he was to trust it.

"No-one was next to me when I woke up, I had a nightmare and no-one was here. Garcia, where were you?" Reid whispered in a child like tone to Garcia.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you alone. The doctor needed to go over some things. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Are you alright?" Garcia said as she began to check Reid over. Reid looked at his wrist and saw blood seeping through, he knew he had felt something tear.

"My wrist. He grabbed it and wouldn't let go, I felt something tear underneath" he said quietly.

Garcia lifted his wrist up and stared at it before turning back to face Hotch and Morgan.

"His wrist is bleeding, can one of you get a doctor?" Garcia asked them, she wanted to leave them in the room to try and get Reid used to them again. Morgan nodded and made his way outside to find a doctor. Hotch decided he was going to try and speak to Reid.

"Are you alright?" Hotch asked.

Reid nodded quickly but never made eye contact with Hotch. Reid knew his reaction was due to the fear that if he didn't do what Hotch wanted he was going to get hurt again. He knew it was irrational to think that way. Hotch walked out of the room. Reid realised that the doctor had told him to get out. Eric had been covered up with a sheet.

"Dr Reid. I'm going to have to check your wound under the bandage. Why don't we go somewhere nicer?" the doctor smiled before pulling a wheelchair over from the corner. Reid felt Garcia hold his hand as the doctor began to push him down the corridor to an exam room. He smiled at the fact Garcia was with him again. His own personal fairy godmother.

XXXXXXXXXX

Morgan felt a weary sadness wash over him as he took in the terrified wounded animal look on Reid's face and realised it was there because he and Hotch were.

He wanted to say something to Reid, anything, but before he could a nurse ushered them out of the room and shut the door. The two men looked at each other. They sat in the waiting room chairs that had become like home and finally Hotch broke the silence.

"Do you think things will even go back to how they were?" The idea that it might not, that the man who was like a brother to him might hate him forever, made Morgan want to puke. He shook his head.

"I don't know, Hotch. We both know Reid is tough but he doesn't trust easily and once you lose it, it's almost impossible to get back. We lost it." There was another moment of silence where he studied his boss. Neither of them had slept much in god knows how long, before they were drugged and everything fell apart.

It was showing. Showing in the bags under their eyes and the chinks in their emotional armour.

"I wish I could remember."

Hotch's confession surprised Morgan. He didn't know if he could handle seeing those moments, unable to change what he'd already done, but from the whispers and glances from the rest of the team he suspected it might be even worse than Hotch. He cleared his throat.

"Why?" Hotch's eyebrows creased.

"Because I don't believe ignorance is bliss. I need to make peace with myself, learn to trust me again before Reid can." Morgan hesitated for a moment.

"I can tell you what I remember, if you want."

Hotch nodded and bowed his head. Morgan started in.

"I remember when we first got to the sheriff's. Something felt off but I couldn't figure out what it was. You called Reid into the sheriff's office and shut the door. I heard him call my name but I couldn't do anything. The rest of the team took me down. Well, Prentiss did. Damn that girl is dangerous." Hotch smiled for half a moment but his heart wasn't in it and it quickly faded away.

Morgan pressed on.

"You threw us into the trunk of a car and Reid was unconscious. It looked like he'd been beaten pretty bad. I screamed at you but you just closed the trunk. Reid woke up on the way to wherever you took us, he was so scared. When you opened the trunk again he kept pleading, asking what he'd done. Hotch you wouldn't listen. He kept calling for help, the guy that was in the room attacking Reid told you to shut him up. You covered his mouth, he screamed when he was being dragged away. He fell when you pushed him up some stairs but that's the last thing I saw. They dragged me off and that's when they must have injected me with that stuff." Hotch's head had migrated to his hands. He looked up when Morgan stopped talking.

"God, no wonder he hates me."

"Hotch it's not like that. He's just feeling vulnerable. It was like this after Tobias, remember? Except he took it out on Emily instead-"

"It's not the same thing! He was angry at her not scared of her. Morgan, he's scared of us, and he has every right to be."

"I know." A pause. Usually it was Hotch giving the pep talks, not him. "But we can't go back and undo what happened.. All we can do is be there as much as he'll let us, be there for each other, and hope for the best.

XXXXXXXXXX

Four weeks later

When the doctors finally gave him the okay to go home a mixture of hope and fear tugged at Reid's heartstrings. On one hand, he was sick of being stuck in the hospital and getting to see his apartment again would be surreal. On the other hand leaving meant, among other things, that work would be looming. He had already been cleared in a psych test, he knew the tricks to show that was alright.

He wasn't alright though, he knew he would probably never be the same again. He would never admit it to anyone but he sometimes wished that he had died back in the church. He sometimes wished that Morgan had cut a little deeper. He wouldn't have to feel the pain, both physically and emotionally.

It also meant the barrier between Morgan and Hotch and himself was gone. He would have to face them, and the idea terrified him. At the same time, if he wanted to stay on the team he knew he'd have to learn to trust them again. But it wasn't going to be easy, and it was still Garcia whom he asked to take him home.

Where would he be without his guardian angel? He watched her as they pulled into the driveway, drinking in her blonde curls and huge smile. He also saw the bags under her eyes, though, and so when she asked if he wanted her to stay the night he shook his head feeling a twinge of guilt.

Even guardian angels needed their sleep.

He tried to placate her, to make the worried look on her face go away. "I'll be fine Garcia, I promise. It's just one night." She pierced his soul with her eyes, looking unconvinced. He tried another angle. "You can even pick me up in the morning and we can head to the office together, if it makes you feel better." She nodded and sighed.

"You have your key?" It was his turn to nod as he opened the door.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow then."

He didn't hear the sound of her car pulling away until he was safely inside.

Reid didn't sleep much that night, in fact after his last nightmare he was afraid to. Logically, he knew his teammates, his friends, would never say those things to him, but his heart refused to listen to his brain, no matter how genius it might be.

What's more, his heart kept winning out.

Eventually, he must have fallen asleep because he woke to his alarm blaring and light streaming through the windows. He groaned and slapped his alarm clock several times until it shut up then rolled out of bed. He got into the shower and enjoyed the hot water as it travelled down his back. His scars were still slightly raw, he could feel the water on each of them. He ignored the aches that his body felt, he had worse things to worry about. He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stopped dead when he looked at his torso for the first time in a long time. There were still faint bruises over his chest, he trailed his fingers over the brand that was over his heart and realised that he would never be the same.

He was permanently marked by a madman's delusion. He was owned by every scar and nightmare that he had. He was broken.

Reid put on a shirt and black vest. He groaned when he put on his black trousers, the wounds in his thighs still gave him trouble. He put on his converses and took another look in the mirror.

He realised that he looked like him old self.

'You will never be your old self. Stop imagining that you will ever be like that' his mind told him viciously.

He'd just poured himself a massive cup of coffee (a suitable breakfast all on its own in his opinion) when the doorbell rang. Holding (balancing) his all important nectar of the gods in one hand he flipped the lock with his other hand and let her in.

"You ready?"

He pushed his nerves back as he slung his satchel over his shoulder took her hand and nodded. He put his empty coffee cup on the side after draining the last of it's contents.

"I guess I am."

I'm not Reid thought sadly.

He knew that he was to stay out of the field till he had been cleared for active duty, he had managed to convince Strauss to let him consult from the office and work with Garcia will he was cleared. She had agreed.

Reid hesitated for a moment. Garcia noticed and looked at him with sad eyes.

"I'll be there every step of the way. My den is going to be your home for while. Just breathe" she told him before taking his hand.

"Here we go" he smiled weakly.

_Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. – Oprah Winfrey_


	10. BAU blues

_There is a time to take counsel of your fear, and there is a time to never listen to any fear. – George S. Patton_

Reid felt so small when he entered the bullpen that morning. He looked around and found himself feeling as if he had never been in the building, he felt like he had the first day he had ever come to the BAU.

"Good morning Doctor Reid" a female voice said politely. Reid looked up and found himself staring saw Erin Strauss giving him a kind and sweet look. Something he had never fully seen on Strauss. Reid looked to his side for a second and reassured himself that Garcia was still there. He had no doubt that Strauss was focusing on the parts of his face that were still bruised slightly.

"Good morning" he smiled back weakly. He knew that she saw straight through him but he also knew that Strauss would not call him on it.

"Take it easy today Dr Reid, I know that Miss Garcia will take care of you" she smiled at him before giving Garcia a small nod. Garcia left Reid giving him an 'it is going to be okay' nod. Reid smiled back but as soon as she turned the corner and disappeared his smile faltered

Reid began to walk further into the bullpen and found himself by his desk without realising it. He pulled off his satchel and sat down at his desk. Reid noticed that everyone was in the kitchen, he had no doubt that they were probably discussing him. He just wanted them to leave him alone. He would try and be professional to them but that was his limit. He knew Rossi, JJ and Emily would not hurt him but he found it hard to trust anyone apart from Garcia.

Reid also noticed that he didn't have any paperwork in his box. He sighed knowing that they were trying to ease him back into the workplace. He didn't want to be treated this way. Reid felt body crave coffee and he started to make his way towards the kitchen. He stopped though when he noticed that Morgan was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Reid retreated back to his desk and grabbed his satchel.

He walked quickly into the bathroom,he was happy no one was in there and into one of the cubicles. He collapsed against the wall of one of the cubicles and brought his knee's up. He tried to calm himself down but he was struggling.

He felt afraid every time he saw Morgan. He couldn't help it.

Just stay near Garcia, they won't try anything if you are near her Reid thought.

Reid felt his breathing steady as he remembered Garcia. Reid took a deep breath in before he pushed himself to his feet. Reid clenched his fists and let out a relaxing breath. He opened the door and made his way back out into the office. He only managed a few steps before JJ and Emily called for his attention.

"Hey Reid" JJ smiled gently before putting a hand on his arm as a sign on comfort. Reid flinched slightly but he managed to suppress it slightly. JJ still noticed that movement though.

"It's nice to have you back Reid" Emily said. She made no moved to try and comfort Reid, she knew Reid better than some on the team and knew that he didn't want to be around them. It hurt her slightly but she knew that Reid was only trying to heal. She knew that was something that was hard for Reid to do.

"Is there something you need?" he asked them. He wanted to go to Garcia and start working with her. They looked slightly hurt but they knew Reid was only this way because of his experiences in the town.

"Garcia says that we have a new case. Meeting in five" JJ told him before walking away with Emily.

Reid looked over to the kitchen, he quickly walked over and poured himself a coffee. He put his usual amount of sugar in before proceeding to the meeting room. He stopped outside the door when noticed that only Morgan and Hotch were in the room. Reid felt his heart ache as memories of his time being tortured came flooding back.

He remembered Morgan holding his legs down as the sheriff stabbed him in the legs with the small metal rods. He remembered his screams being silenced by Hotch. He remembered looking up at Morgan and seeing him with a bloody knife while his vision blurred after his wrists had been cut.

Reid pressed himself against the wall and waited till he was able to push the memories back down. He saw Garcia come towards the office. She looked at the office and then at him and realised why Reid looked so scared. She arrived at his side almost immediately.

"We will go in together. I'll be there the whole time. You know that Hotch and Morgan won't hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of them anymore" Garcia assured him.

"I know they had no control but it doesn't stop the memories from coming through. Being tortured by those I thought I could always trust and who I had come to see as family is hard to forget. I can't help it" Reid whispered to her, his eyes had started to water but he blinked back the tears that wanted to fall.

"Just focus on the case and me while we are in there. You can leave whenever you want" she told him. Reid simply nodded before he followed her into the room.

Hotch and Morgan looked up and watched as Reid and Garcia took their seats around the table. They both noticed Reid and gave each other a worried look. Reid had not allowed them to see him during the four weeks he had been recovering and he wouldn't return any of their calls. It was like he simply wanted to forget they ever existed.

"Good morning Garcia. Good Morning Reid" Hotch said to them, he looked at Reid hoping for any kind of response.

"Good morning you two" Garcia smiled. She looked over to Reid and hoped that he would try and talk to Hotch and Morgan. Her hopes were, for once, answered.

"Good Morning sir" Reid replied quietly, his voice shaking.

Hotch felt a small part of joy at the fact Reid had finally spoken to him but he wasn't going to celebrate until he had Reid back to his old self. Morgan decided he would try and talk to Reid in a more personal way.

Rossi, JJ and Emily all filed in and took their seats. They all looked to Garcia, she stood up to brief the team. Hotch took the seat next to Reid and noticed that Reid was keeping very still.

Like he was afraid to anger Hotch.

"Chicago P.D has asked for assistance on finding a serial rapist who murders his victims after raping them. The victims are all female. No leads have been identified so far. Gina Turner was found in a ditch while the four other victims were found in nearby parks" Garcia explained before bringing up the photo's of the victim's. She looked away while the others noticed how brutally the women had been beaten.

"This shows some serious anger" Emily observed.

"He seems to be sexually motivated. He is definitely a sexual sadist" Rossi observed as well.

The team continued to discuss the case. Reid simply made notes on a piece of paper and chose not to speak up while the others talked. He felt like a stranger sitting in the room, he watched Garcia takes orders from Hotch and felt a sudden angry feeling. Everyone looked to the screen apart from him as they looked more closely at another victim. Reid looked down at the piece of paper to try and calm down when he noticed there was blood on the paper. Reid wiped under his nose to find a stream of blood was running from it. He could taste the blood as it had travelled down to his lips.

Reid pushed his chair back and left the room quickly.

"Reid?" Garcia called after him. They all looked at each other before Rossi noticed the blood on the piece of paper Reid had been so focused on. He got up and walked over to where Reid had been sitting.

"He's bleeding" Rossi told them.

"I'll go" Garcia said as she began to leave but she found Rossi putting up his hand.

"Let me try Garcia. I'll go and see what's going on. Don't worry, I'll come back and get you Garcia if he needs you" Rossi told her before leaving the room. He made his way to the bathroom and walked in to find Reid leaning over a sink with a wad of tissue at his nose.

"It's just a nosebleed. Go back to the meeting" Reid told him, he brought away the tissue to find that blood was still flowing.

"C'mon Reid. We need to talk. We also need to get that stopped" Rossi ordered him before he walked over to Reid.

Reid looked into Rossi's eyes, feeling guilt at the worry he saw there. He sighed and blotted his nose as he fought the flashbacks the blood tried to bring. "I'm fine, really. It's just hard to step back into things. I still feel weak and Rossi," his breath caught in his throat," I'm still scared. I keep telling myself not to be ridiculous, that I'm over it, but I couldn't even get coffee this morning because Hotch was in here." He felt embarrassment redden his cheeks. "What's wrong with me?" Rossi put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong with you Reid. You've been through such an ordeal and we all know how strong you are but that doesn't mean your invincible. Sometimes it just takes time to heal, and sometimes the stuff in here," he put a hand to Reid's heart, "takes longer than any physical injury."

Suddenly, all at once, everything caught up with him and Reid wanted to cry.

"It's like I'll never truly escape that place Rossi. How can I when I have a souvenir of it carved into my chest for me to see every day? What am I supposed to do the next time I go swimming or to the beach? You don't think anyone will notice? You don't think they'll question why I have demon carved into me?" Rossi shook his head, speaking softly.

"It doesn't matter what they think, Reid. All you need to know is that we're here for you, all of us. We can't make the memories go away, they'll always be there, but maybe we can make some new ones, some good ones, all of us together." Reid felt his throat tighten.

"Thanks Rossi." The older man smiled.

"Anytime -" Rossi looked like he wanted to say more but thought better of it. Reid filled the silence.

"We should get back to the meeting." A final tissue dealt with the last of his nosebleed. Rossi studied him.

"You sure you can handle this?" Reid nodded and they set off side by side. He was feeling better than before, but he still chose to stand just inside the door rather than having to sit down beside Hotch again. It was stupid but his hands were shaking uncontrollably and it was sure to annoy the man. He felt a bolt of terror run down his spine at the thought even as his brain told his heart it was being ridiculous. Even as his brain told his heart that Hotch would be more likely to be concerned than angry.

Why, in that moment, did his massive IQ seem to mean nothing?

He hadn't realised the meeting had ended until everyone was standing up waiting patiently for him to move and unblock the door. Reid blushed and stepped aside quickly. He wanted to protest when Prentiss smiled and took him by the arm but then Garcia took him by the arm and lead him towards her technological sanctuary. Garcia grinned at him.

"They're heading out but you're stuck with me. You ready to get started precious? This is the fun begins." Reid gave a nod and a smile found its way onto his lips.

It was small but it was genuine, and it was there.

_Smiling is infectious, _

_You can catch it like the flu._

_Someone smiled at me today,_

_And I started smiling too._

_-Author unknown_

_**Hey guys! Hope you like this chapter =) Becky and I wanted to let you know that we're really sorry but the next little while might be a challenge. There were issues with her internet so she's doing her best via phone but it's sort of a pain. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon but for the next little while please understand that updates might be slower. Sorry! We love you all, and thanks so much for sticking with this story. You're all wonderful!**_


	11. trust, love, or something else?

_**Alison: Hi guys! First of all we are so sorry that we took so long to get this last chapter to you**. **Both of us have been very busy this last little while and I guess life just kind of gets in the way. But anyway, for any of you who still remember and care for this story I want to thank you all for reading this, for reviewing and alerting. We love you all! **_

_**Without further ado, the final chapter of AIH.**_

"_Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection." ― Lady Gaga_

One month later

Reid looked on as the team all went to the interrogation room, the team had just returned from a raid to capture two unsubs who had been killing young women in the city. Reid had stayed behind in the bullpen, the unsub, Jeremy Fenwick, had given him an unsettling smile that reminded him of the way the sheriff smiled back in the town. He still had a hard time working with Hotch and Morgan, even trying to be professional was difficult. He just kept picturing the dead look in their eyes as they held him down. Reid knew that the new case wasn't over with, the team still had to catch the unsub that got away during the raid. Garcia walked down the stairs and over to his desk. Reid looked up and smiled slightly when he saw her.

"Hey Reid, are you okay?" Garcia asked gently.

"Yeah, just a little spooked. The unsub that was brought in, he just creeped me out. I'll be happy when the end of the day arrives," Reid told her as he fiddled with a pencil. Garcia looked down and noticed that the end of the pencil had bite marks. It was clear to her that he had still not recovered fully from the ordeal in the town.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" Garcia asked him trying to get his mind off the bad things he had seen in the day.

"No, I'm okay. Had too much today," Reid said to her. He knew that if he had another cup of coffee he would be awake all night.

"Sheriff Anderson is locked up along with rest of the nutty town. They can't ever hurt you again Reid."

"They can't hurt me in real life but I still have nightmares of what happened," Reid admitted before he leaned back into his chair and ran his hand through his hair.

"Do you want to talk about the nightmares?" Garcia offered, she knew Reid was under a lot of stress and all she wanted to do was make him feel better. She was the shoulder that he leaned on for support, she knew that he trusted her and would call her when he had trouble coping with work.

"No, I'm fine. I'll tell you when I'm ready but I just can't tell you what happens in them."

Four hours later

Reid barely noticed when the elevator doors opened to parking, he stepped through the doors. He had been driving to work for the past few weeks after finding it difficult to be so close to strangers. Reid fiddled with keys slightly as he walked to his car. Reid walked to his car, he jumped when he heard something hit the ground. Reid quickly whipped round, he didn't see anything.

Reid turned halfway round when he felt a strong hand clamp over to mouth. Reid began to struggle till he felt the cold edge of a knife press into his throat. Reid whimpered slightly when he felt hot breath on his ear.

"You got my brother and I want him back!" a man screamed into his ear. Reid knew instantly who the man was, it was their missing unsub, Michael Fenwick.

"I'm not gonna kill you, you aren't my type. All I need is your fucking ID scan card," Micheal whispered into Reid's ear. Reid yelped as the man moved the hand from over his mouth and grabbed a fistful of Reid's hair. Reid grunted as the man slammed his head into the bonnet of the car. Reid slumped to the floor as the darkness took over his vision.

Hotch

Hotch, Morgan and Rossi left the interrogation room. The unsub wasn't saying anything, all he was concerned about was the where his brother could be. He wasn't confessing to any of the murders. He walked around the corner and immediately felt his instincts kick in. Hotch pulled out his gun as he recognised the second unsub walk through the elevators. Michael noticed Hotch had seen him and pulled out a gun from his belt.

Michael felt his anger increase when he saw two more agents pull out their guns and point them at him.

"Where is my brother?" Michael shouted at them.

"He's in custody. You need to put your gun down and surrender. Put your hands behind your head and lay on the ground," Morgan ordered Michael.

"No, you are going to let him go!" Michael panicked. Hotch, Rossi and Morgan could all see that Michael had started to panic. They knew that Michael had not planned this out properly. Hotch saw JJ creep round the corner, her gun pulled out and ready to take the shot. Michael quickly whipped round as he saw Hotch's gaze move slightly. JJ pulled the trigger on her gun and watched as Michael fell to the floor. Hotch walked over and saw the Michael had passed out after he had been shot. Rossi began to search the man. Rossi pulled out a small card, he instantly felt panic when he saw who the card belonged to.

"Oh no," Rossi whispered.

"What is it?" Hotch asked as he noticed Rossi's face fall into one of despair. Rossi turned around the card for Hotch to see.

"Reid," Rossi said. He only had to use Reid's name to send the team into rush to find the young man.

Reid

Reid moaned as he started to return to the world. Reid opened his eyes, they fluttered for a moment before they opened fully. Reid moaned again when all he saw was darkness around him. He tried to move his hands and legs but couldn't, he felt tape wrapped around them. Reid whimpered as he also felt tape placed over his mouth. His head was pounding with pain. Memories of being trapped in the car tied up back in the town rushed to the front of his mind. He remembered Morgan in their with him, it was before the dead look had filled his eyes. He remembered the way Morgan had tried to calm him down.

He couldn't be back in the town, he just couldn't be.

Reid began to thrash against the tape wrapped around his legs and hands as he felt fear engulf him. He ignored the pain in his head. He just wanted to get out of trunk of the car. He stopped thrashing when he heard someone shouting his name. Reid heard another person call his name. Reid hit the lid of the trunk three times. He heard someone outside the trunk of the car as they unlocked it. Reid winced as the lid was opened, he closed his eyes as the light hit them. Reid opened his eyes carefully and saw Morgan standing there with a small knife.

Reid shuffled away from Morgan when Morgan went to cut away the tape. Morgan realised then what he had done.

"Reid, I'm just going to cut the tape away. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just here to help you," Morgan said. He saw understanding come across Reid's face. He began to cut away the tape.

"I'm going to take this tape off," Hotch said before he pulled the tape off Reid's mouth slowly. Reid took a small gasp as the tape was removed. It was then that Hotch noticed the tears from Reid's eyes. Reid began to climb out of the trunk once Morgan had finished. He tensed when Hotch and Morgan helped him out of the trunk but he allowed them to help.

"Are you okay?" Morgan asked as he began to inspect Reid's bleeding head wound. Reid winced in pain when Morgan began to prod at the wound.

"He surprised me and put a knife to my throat, he said he needed my ID card. He smashed my head into the car and then I woke up in the trunk," Reid told them although he still couldn't look them in the eye properly.

"An ambulance will be here soon, JJ shot him upstairs. Come on, we need to get that checked out," Hotch said before he put his hands forward to help Reid up. Reid leaned back slightly, Reid knew he was going to fall over if he tried to walk by himself so he tentatively took Hotch's hands. Reid almost fell again when he got to his feet, his entire head dizzy with pain.

"Come on, let's get you safe," Morgan smiled.

Hospital

Reid hated hospitals, he had hated them since his long stay in once only a few months before. Garcia was sat next to him talking to him with her knitting in her hands. Reid had known since the first cross of her needles that he was in for a new scarf.

"Do you think I'm not giving Morgan and Hotch a chance?" Reid asked Garcia, it had been a question pondering his mind for the past few hours.

Garcia stopped her knitting and sighed slightly. She looked to Reid and Reid knew that there had been some truth to his own words.

"I think that they have been trying to reconnect with you but you have pushed them away. I know that you have reasons to be afraid of them but you need to understand that they weren't themselves when we were in that town. None of us were for some of it. Morgan told me that I attacked him. He forgave me and I forgave him for holding a gun to me. I can't imagine the pain that you went through. I think that you need to start trying to reconnect with them. They never wanted to hurt you, they have only ever wanted to protect you. Just think about it honey," Garcia told him.

"It is just hard to get past what they did, I have scars from what they did. I have scars from where Morgan almost killed me. I know they didn't mean it but it is just hard to get past the nightmares and memories."

"They are outside, I think you need to talk to them," Garcia said before she got out of her seat and made her way to the door, she poked her head around it and a few moments later Hotch and Morgan were at the door.

"I think that you three need to talk," Garcia smiled gently. Garcia took her seat back down next to Reid, she knew that Reid would feel safer with here there.

"I know that it wasn't really you that did those things, I'm sorry about how distant I have been but you have to understand that what I went through back in that town was pure hell. I still have nightmares of what they did to me, I still have nightmares of what you did to me. You beat me and tied me up, you took me into that church and helped that man torture me to the point where I let you drown me. I let the water in so I wouldn't have to suffer any more pain. You almost killed me. I know that you didn't want to do it but you still did. You have to understand that it is hard to be around you," Reid explained as tears ran down his face.

"Reid, we feel so much guilt for what we did for you. We were told about some of the things that we did to you that we didn't remember. Reid, we are so sorry for the things that we did to you. We struggle everyday with what happened. Please forgive us," Hotch begged as tears were on the edge of his eyes.

"Reid, we are so sorry. Please, please forgive us," Morgan pleaded.

"I can forgive you but I need you to know that its going to take time for me to fully forgive the things that happened and that it is going to take time for me trust you again," Reid told them.

"Reid, take all the time you need but just know that we will always be there for you. Just know that we will always try to make up for the things we did. We are here for you, just talk to us," Morgan said.

"Thank you for getting me out of that trunk," Reid said to them, he looked up and finally looked them straight in the eye.

"Anytime Reid, we will always try and protect you".

"_Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard." – Dave Mustaine_

**_So whatcha think? We hope you enjoyed this story as much as we enjoyed writing it. Keep your eyes open as it's quite possible that Becky and I will be bringing another story to you soon (whether that will be Criminal minds or something else we aren't sure yet). We wish you all th_e best and thanks for reading!**


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